Out of time

[down for the count]

I have wasted so much time in my life being an angry being fighting off unfair conformity. Now I am almost fifty and it is too late to change my life. I think I was always in denial that it would be easy to turn my life around. To go through the rest of my life in this state would be shameful and miserable or at least I think so. I don't want to be a miserable old man that no one likes. I can't stand most people either. I am not sure whether I should CTB now.

 

[miserableforever]

I have wasted so much time in my life being an angry being fighting off unfair conformity. Now I am almost fifty and it is too late to change my life. I think I was always in denial that it would be easy to turn my life around. To go through the rest of my life in this state would be shameful and miserable or at least I think so. I don't want to be a miserable old man that no one likes. I can't stand most people either. I am not sure whether I should CTB now.

Here's the thing. Are your circumstances changeable? Is it others that helped putting you in the place you are?
If it's you vs you, you can change and figure out the rest of your existence. If you even want that.
But, if it's family members and kids involved, that's a whole different story.

Not to make it about me, but I'm being harassed, followed, and controlled by a family member with shit tons of money to spend on fun lawyers to torment me with bs stories that never happened.
If I could turn my life around without those nut jobs, I'd try and see how freedom actually feels for the first time in my life. And then eventually still CTB.
I'm old too btw.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is understandable not wanting to live a miserable existence. No matter what I will never reach that age. I also cannot stand people. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.