Pretty annoyed that I'm still getting surprised of how bad the situation is.
My brother asked me to help him with his kids for 24h. His my favorite brother and his kids are great. He would have drive me back and forth so I won't need to use the bus and pretty much everything in this situation is comfortable. I immediately agreed because I knew that if I were to wait then I will think of an excuse to not go even though I knew it will be good for me.
The second I sent the message I felt regret.
My body got tensed, got heavy breathing and felt pretty bad overall. Physically. In my brain I knew it would be fine and I love him and the kids but it felt like my body is yelling at me for daring to do something… Slowly it gotten worse and then it transferred to anxiety. After six hours of this I sent him a message to cancel.
I wouldn't mind it as much if it was to help a stranger or someone that isn't close to me.. I've gotten used to it. It's the fact that I felt like this when trying to help my brother feels like a punch to the face. I'm that much out of control. Oh and BTW, the worst part is I have no idea why I feel that. At least if I didn't like him or maybe I had anxiety of sleeping at others house or maybe I don't like driving but it's none of that. I literally have no reason to have any anxiety over this. My subconscious is king and I'm the servant.
My brother asked me to help him with his kids for 24h. His my favorite brother and his kids are great. He would have drive me back and forth so I won't need to use the bus and pretty much everything in this situation is comfortable. I immediately agreed because I knew that if I were to wait then I will think of an excuse to not go even though I knew it will be good for me.
The second I sent the message I felt regret.
My body got tensed, got heavy breathing and felt pretty bad overall. Physically. In my brain I knew it would be fine and I love him and the kids but it felt like my body is yelling at me for daring to do something… Slowly it gotten worse and then it transferred to anxiety. After six hours of this I sent him a message to cancel.
I wouldn't mind it as much if it was to help a stranger or someone that isn't close to me.. I've gotten used to it. It's the fact that I felt like this when trying to help my brother feels like a punch to the face. I'm that much out of control. Oh and BTW, the worst part is I have no idea why I feel that. At least if I didn't like him or maybe I had anxiety of sleeping at others house or maybe I don't like driving but it's none of that. I literally have no reason to have any anxiety over this. My subconscious is king and I'm the servant.
