Only sticking around not to hurt my family

[AJ95]

I'm not sure how many other people are in the same position as me, I'd guess probably quite a lot.

I've been chronically depressed and increasingly mentally ill since my early teens (10+ years now), and my life has nothing going for it. I'm ready to ctb, the only things that stop me from doing it are not wanting to leave my dog, and not wanting to hurt my family.

Does anyone have any advice / similar feelings?

 

[Spitfire]

Yes, especially for with the dog. He's gone now. I did want to live for him though.

Not to take care of him. He would have had a nice loving person to watch over and take care of him if I had left him. It was much more than that.

 

[Susannah]

I'm not sure how many other people are in the same position as me, I'd guess probably quite a lot.

I've been chronically depressed and increasingly mentally ill since my early teens (10+ years now), and my life has nothing going for it. I'm ready to ctb, the only things that stop me from doing it are not wanting to leave my dog, and not wanting to hurt my family.

Does anyone have any advice / similar feelings?

Yes. I love my son and I care deeply for my parents.

 

[Deleted member 19276]

To an extent, I can relate to this.
Sadly, as much as I hate what they did in 2018, they are still my only real life friends, outside of the internet world.
There is not much that can be done at times, it's a constant struggle... I argue with them, but I still care for them.
Sorry you feel stuck as well however!

My advice would be to see how much they truly care, your relatives and well, go from there with the choice - To stick around for them or simply, leave.
But if you do have to leave, you should not feel guilty over it. It's a matter of choice, really.

 

[blackcatnash]

Yes, it's the "cannot live/cannot die" situation.
This sort of hellish limbo, where I'm actually agonizing, inbetween the certainty that the unbearable suffering I have inside can die only with me and the sense of the responsability towards my child and my cat.

As for an advice, I've found myself recently in this situation, so I don't even have a clue what to say or do, but I'm really afraid that the answer, in this particular case in which we still care about someone we love, is the most painful one, as life itself is. Sticking around for the others, because it is not only about ourselves, hoping to not go insane in the process.

I just hope you can find soon the right answer for yourself, as soon as possible.