Yesterday I had everything in place. Was prepared to go. Then once again my hope was raised by messages from the only person who can help me. I became distracted from my goal. It was a mistake. Today things are back to normal. My plans remain the same, its only the day that has changed. Feel a little embarrassed by deciding to see if the hope was real. I realise it's not. Time to move on and forward with original plan. I need to focus and push forward towards my end. Sorry I let you all down.
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The_Flying_Fox
Member
- Jan 9, 2022
- 63
I don't think that any of us felt that you let us down. Don't worry!
Well-Edited Chaos
Member
- May 8, 2022
- 178
100% agree with this. And I have to add, @Flying Away, if someone thought you were going to CTB and are disappointed / upset in any way that you didn't - that's pretty fucked. I'm sorry your rollercoaster of heartbreak continues.
The person in question is not aware of my intentions. They messaged me in a friendly and loving manner. It feels like a peak before today's trough. Thank you for your concern.100% agree with this. And I have to add, @Flying Away, if someone thought you were going to CTB and are disappointed / upset in any way that you didn't - that's pretty fucked. I'm sorry your rollercoaster of heartbreak continues.
Feel like such a failure.
Well-Edited Chaos
Member
- May 8, 2022
- 178
Feeling like a failure is breaking your own heart. Haven't you suffered enough?
Mr. Incapable
Also inadequate, incompetent, weak & powerless
- Jun 21, 2022
- 175
I failed my attempt yesterday. I feel like I let myself down and everyone on here because I had posted about my intention to do it. Truly, I don't think anyone on here could be so invested that they would be upset or let down because you or I or anyone failed because no one on here wants each other to die.. we just want each other to achieve what we want, whatever they may be, and be free from our pain and suffering. So you haven't let anyone down, and neither did I. When it's happens, it happens. For me I've decided I'm going to have to attempt daily or every other day or weekly If I want my attempt to succeed because we can only have so many failures before succeeding, right? The more attempts, the higher the chance it'll happen sooner.. that's what I'm telling myself anyway
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 49,554
Of course you have not let anyone down, suicide is a personal choice and just because you post about it does not mean that you have any obligations to leave this world on that day. It sounds like you have been through a lot. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I hope that in whatever you decide to do, you find relief from your suffering.Similar threads
