NSFW On sex, dating and love

[whybother2002]

I've never had someone in my life. Never dated, never went out, etc. I'm usually able to deal with this fact quite well, but now that I have set on that I must take my life before 2026, I find myself getting quite sad that I never got to experience the touch of a significant other. That I've never had sex, never caressed someone's skin, never experienced love...

Does anyone relate? Am I missing out on much? I'm expecting people here to tell me how it's all overrated, but I wanna hear it from people who had great experiences as well.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Sex does not equal Romance/Connection/Love

But I'm not someone who had great experiences, just someone who's seen many shitty ones unfold around them.

 

[whybother2002]

Sex does not equal Romance/Connection/Love

But I'm not someone who had great experiences, just someone who's seen many shitty ones unfold around them.

I'm sure of it. That's why a sex worker never crossed my mind.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

It's ok, sex is cringe, and gay.

Be like Obiwan Kenobi, just enjoy a nice pet astolfo.

 

[scordatura]

Sex is overrated... personally I hate sex, although that's an unpopular opinion/experience. However I do completely understand the craving for a bond with someone, and I am feeling really isolated at the moment too, and wish I had someone who knew me, and I do miss... however fleeting it was... having that.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I've experienced relationships, and each one just makes me realize more and more that humans are truly selfish and cannot love. "Romantic" relationships are just like friendships or any other relationship. A simple transaction, for people to get what they want. No one will magically care about you more just because you're in a relationship. We just use each other for physical comfort, sex, company.

 

[whybother2002]

Sex is overrated... personally I hate sex, although that's an unpopular opinion/experience. However I do completely understand the craving for a bond with someone, and I am feeling really isolated at the moment too, and wish I had someone who knew me, and I do miss... however fleeting it was... having that.

It's funny cause when I think about sex it's everything but penetration. So it really is that physical bond with someone.

 

[вечный сон]

Real love can transform even the most damaged Person imo. Sex is also very healthy for many reasons if you do it with someone you really care about

 

[Liebestod]

I'm in the same boat as you, starved of intimacy and wondering what it's like. Thinking about how I missed out and how treacherous constant isolation is. It might be overrated to some but it's also like a pot of gold to others. I wish I could have a meaningful connection with someone on a sexual or romantic level but time has shown that it's not possible. I'm just too ugly and that's something you can't afford to be in today's world. Death is my only comfort but even that is starting to wear off. Every time I try just leads to humiliation and I know it will continue to go on. Life is just one big humiliation ritual.

 

[Ligottian]

A few dates. No sex. One kiss with a beautiful girl at work that gave me a flood of mind blowing dopamine. I'm quite the Casanova, you see.

 

[martyrdom]

I can't lie and tell you it's not a beautiful and really fulfilling experience because it is. I started dating and having girlfriends very young and my last girlfriend is an incredible person, we really loved each other. In bad relationships it can make you significantly worse. But it also won't fill the void, nothing will if you don't genuinely like your own company. And at least for me, having that doesn't make a difference to my struggles, it doesn't make it better at all. I'm also sex repulsed now so none of that anymore.

 

[whybother2002]

I can't lie and tell you it's not a beautiful and really fulfilling experience because it is. I started dating and having girlfriends very young and my last girlfriend is an incredible person, we really loved each other. In bad relationships it can make you significantly worse. But it also won't fill the void, nothing will if you don't genuinely like your own company. And at least for me, having that doesn't make a difference to my struggles, it doesn't make it better at all. I'm also sex repulsed now so none of that anymore.

I understand. When I imagine myself with someone it's always in a reality where I'm already comfortable with myself. I would never expect a relationship to save me (even if I cry listening to "Wonderwall" (while hating Oasis)).

 

[Dejected 55]

People who tell you that such relationships are not important either are in a relationship, or have been in unhappy ones, or are those rare people who truly are happy being alone. Nobody else would argue with you.

People, and most mammals I think, are wired for companionship and family. Family doesn't have to mean kids... but we are social creatures, and studies show we suffer and are not our best selves when we are deprived of love, touch, companionship.

Sex gets thought of the most when this topic comes up... and sex is a part of it, to be sure... but it's not most of it... not by a long shot. You could be in a loving affectionate relationship and experience companionship and touch and never be naked or have anything anyone would count as sex and you could be fulfilled in such a life. It's just that usually you'll also have some sex mixed in there if you are in a relationship that deeply connected to someone.

 

[jsker]

if you're able to connect with them it's definitely the best thing life has to offer.

 

[BrainSplatter]

I've never been in a committed relationship, but I've had a few situationships that didn't work out. I've had a lot of sexual experiences with different people. I've lost count, but it's somewhere between 60-70. I've had a lot of drug fuelled one night stands, which were somewhat traumatic. I then got into solo swinging, It gave me a way to regain control by being dominant, and it helped me grow in confidence. I set clear rules and boundaries beforehand, and everyone has been respectful. I did have one bad experience, but that was my fault. It was a quick meet up and we didn't talk beforehand, and the guy was very predatory towards me. I hate that it ruins the community's name, but thankfully not everyone is like that. Right now, I'm not really interested in sex at all. It's weird, I go through phases of extreme hypersexuality and then complete disinterest in sex. I've gone over 2 years without it before so I can somewhat understand you but I think that was due to unresolved trauma I guess my hypersexual tendencies could be from this also. Maybe I set the bar too high because of my BPD. It's hard I don't feel like anyone is as emotionally attuned like I really value emotional connection but unless you have BPD you can't reach the same level as me. It doesn't really matter anymore maybe I'll find my soulmate in the afterlife

 

[lunar02102009]

I've never had someone in my life. Never dated, never went out, etc. I'm usually able to deal with this fact quite well, but now that I have set on that I must take my life before 2026, I find myself getting quite sad that I never got to experience the touch of a significant other. That I've never had sex, never caressed someone's skin, never experienced love...

Does anyone relate? Am I missing out on much? I'm expecting people here to tell me how it's all overrated, but I wanna hear it from people who had great experiences as well.

You are not the only one , i feel exactly the same way

 

[Cauliflour]

The pill is easier to swallow if you're autistic I think.

 

[MiaSanMia]

Its not the sex, or touch, its the love. Its someone caring about you so much. Thats what this life is about. Finding and keep that.

 

[losthope1980]

I've never had someone in my life. Never dated, never went out, etc. I'm usually able to deal with this fact quite well, but now that I have set on that I must take my life before 2026, I find myself getting quite sad that I never got to experience the touch of a significant other. That I've never had sex, never caressed someone's skin, never experienced love...

Does anyone relate? Am I missing out on much? I'm expecting people here to tell me how it's all overrated, but I wanna hear it from people who had great experiences as well.

How old are you ?
I've had lots of losses , relationships, sex , good jobs , bad jobs,unemployed, money , I've been broke. I have lived what some could consider a good life, unfortunately I never saw that and now I've lost basically all my interpersonal relationships. I'm pretty lonely but if I die I think I can say I did prettty much everything. I do regret a lot of things but I think I experienced most of the good and bad things life had to offer

 

[679chocolates]

in my experience sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be, it's like ice cream, i like ice cream but i wouldn't die if i was to never eat it again. that being said, LOVE is the most beautiful yet hideous thing on the planet. It feels amazing and takes over your mind but it also blinds you and ruins you and hurts you. I wish i was loved and i miss loving but not so much the act itself. a warm hug from someone who loves me is such a blissful dream

 

[whybother2002]

How old are you ?

I'm 23

 

[Lady_V]

You're missing out on the connection. There's something deep about being at your most vulnerable with someone and giving them your trust. Still, when that connection is lost/broken and/or the other person leaves you, it can be so fucking traumatizing. I can never trust another person again after the bad experiences I've had.

 

[schatzbunny]

i feel you. i was in a similar position where i craved connection so deeply and then i met the loml. i wont lie, it was the happiest i had felt in my life, having someone you're the closest to. but, people are at the end of the day people.. he ended up breaking my heart and ruining me in the process. if i could go back in time, i wouldn't want to experience it again.

 

[Still here]

The truth about me personally is that LOVE DOESN'T GO MY WAY and I am bad at love so I won't even bother.... I've accepted this as part of who I am....

 

[lawlietsph]

i am a 29 years old woman and i've never even hold hands with a man before, to be honest never really talked to one. sometimes it hurts like hell, other times i feel disgusted about the whole thing.
people usually say these stuff are overrated.
i kinda accept it now.
i am unlovable, too ugly and waaay too emotional and overly sensitive for ever being loved by another human being.
i just hope my life will end soon, because living until an old age would be miserable like this

 

[whybother2002]

i just hope my life will end soon, because living until an old age would be miserable like this

I relate so much. And I hope to die soon. I'm sorry you feel that way.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'm sorry you haven't had the chance, but, what you would discover is that it's a painfully meaningless and uncomfortable disaster.

 

[astroproto]

I've come to terms with never being able to find love or maybe I'm aromantic. I like romantic stories even though real life romance kind of irks me because it all seems so corny. I guess it's also the fact that I feel too immature and detached and self-absorbed to actually love someone. Somehow it doesn't really bother me in particular, just more bothered by the fact that I'm not normal enough to deal with stuff like that.

I'm still curious about sex and hookups though. Joined some app recently but I'm pretty unattractive and I keep overthinking about what the other person will end up not liking about me so not really working out. I know it's not even gonna be long-term but still.

 

[hannu555]

I've never had someone in my life. Never dated, never went out, etc. I'm usually able to deal with this fact quite well, but now that I have set on that I must take my life before 2026, I find myself getting quite sad that I never got to experience the touch of a significant other. That I've never had sex, never caressed someone's skin, never experienced love...

Does anyone relate? Am I missing out on much? I'm expecting people here to tell me how it's all overrated, but I wanna hear it from people who had great experiences as well.

I'm 29 and in the affectionless boat too. It sucks. The end is near.