Not well

[wh0cares]

I can't take the literal pain I feel every day emotionally. It is physical pain within my chest. I have no one - no friends, no family, no children, no lover - I am literally all alone every single day for the past 2+ years and I hate this suffering. It's been years and won't stop and nothing works - not antidepressants, weed, talk therapy twice a week - nothing. helps. For the first time in my life I've recently started hitting myself which is a new low for me and uncontrolled and I'm too ashamed/embarrassed to tell my therapist because again… nothing will help. He'll just recommend I need to make friends or go on a walk. I beg god every day to kill me. I just want to die. Mass shootings happen and I wish I was a victim instead of someone who actually had a life and people who will mourn them. I needed to vent I have no one else to talk to.

 

[Capsaicin78]

I am sorry that you have to feel this way. Life really is cruel.
I just wanted to say that you should talk about your therapist about self-harm. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Therapists are paid for to not evaluate you by your actions.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. I can imagine that it must be so devastating and agonising being in so much pain. I know that it is hard to carry on when everything feels so hopeless. I just want to be free from this life as well, it does hurt me being alive. I wish you relief from pain in whatever happens.

 

[Chronic]

Sorry you are suffering. Have you tried opioids? They're meant for physical pain but seem to help with psychological pain too. Never tried psychedelics but others say it helps (mushrooms/peyote/san pedro). In my opinion anyone suffering should have access to opioids whether it is physical or psychological pain...pain is pain and it sucks. Hope you can find some relief. I get it though, I've got physical pain and psychological and plan to exit this life of suffering whenever it's too much to endure...got all the supplies for when the time is right.

Reddit.com/r/druggardening

 

[Huntfish34]

Yep,. I've felt that same way a lot lately.. Asking and pleading for God to take me Out of this world. Whether it be in my sleep or Even a mass shooting fatality like you mentioned. My mind is so sick and Twisted I don't know what to tell you other than.... You are Not alone .

I wish for the best and hope everything works out okay. Thoughts and prayers -

 

[Life_isover128]

I've felt the same for quite a few years now