Not Wanting To Put My Friends Through Grief is the Only Reason I’m Here

[lemonandcapers]

I have one friend in particular, my best friend, who

 

[oniichan]

I think I understand this, honestly. I just want to give up, but everyone around me and their expectations. The idea of how they will behave and how vindicated theyll all feel. Is Scary

 

[lemonandcapers]

Oh shit. This got posted by accident. I can't delete it, so let me finish what I was going to say:

My best friend and the grief they would face if I CTB is the only reason why I am alive

 

[Grasp of darkness]

I feel you. I have the same thing with my mother. She has always been good to me and I love her to death, so I could never do it before she dies herself.
With a best friend it might be harder because there's no future perspective. I assume you're around the same age, so you can't just 'wait' for them to die first.
Can you talk about your suicidal thoughts with this friend?

 

[OccasionalVisitor]

I feel similarly, but it's my siblings instead. They are the only reason I'm still here.

 

[BradGuy123]

I'm sorry for what you're going through, and I'm sorry for what brought you here. I hear you. If I ever had to ctb there are two people really close to me who would be devastated to lose me. That would give me great pause and make it very difficult for me to do it.