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SterileMoth

SterileMoth

Who knows man
Jul 9, 2020
74
Listen. I know this is maybe the wrong thread. I still want to die though, I still plan and figure that will be it, but my moms birthday is today. I'm drunk, and crying, I'm sorry if im typing badly because of that, I want to just go fucking do it already, I'm sonfucking tired of dealing with this shit. I want to just go upstairs and fucking swallow whatever pills I can find and hope for the best. Or hang. Or fucking ANYTHING that I can manage right now. But it's my moms birthday. Right now my only form of recourse is self harm. Luckily a screwdriver got left in my room and I just got a pencil sharpener dismantled. I'm either going to cut or kill myself or both. I don't want to do that to my mom on her birthday. She isnt a shitty mom. Shes really really great and doesnt deserve to go through what I've put her through, let alone deal with an attempt on her birthday. I don't know what to do. I just want this to be over. I just want to be fucking gone. I'm so tired of trying and living and breathing. I'm so tired. But I don't want to ruin her birthday. Because that means I'll ruin it forever until she passes over too. I don't know what to do. I just need to last at least a few more days, right? Then it doesnt matter. I don't know what to do. I'm just so fuvking tired and so fuvking done with this and living and hurting and struggling through every day.
I wish I was a doctor or something. Easy Access to shit. Fuck
Fuck
What do I do
 
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Reactions: Saed, painoflife, Deleted member 17331 and 1 other person
SterileMoth

SterileMoth

Who knows man
Jul 9, 2020
74
I just tried partial suspension, unsuccessfully, obviously. I don't think I have anything high enough. I dunno.
 
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Reactions: Saed

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