nobody really cares, do they?

[raikko]

Last Sunday, I went out with friends. On my way back, someone committed suicide on the train platform. 「人身事故」was being announced for two hours straight as i sat on the train, waiting to go home. Nobody cared, some people were annoyed, other people left for another line, but overall nobody cared.

Thinking about it during my commute, as I sat, as I walked out of the train, and as I got on my bus home, I realise not one person held a candle for the suffering person who made their final decision that night.

I hate my commute to Osaka, I hate Osaka City in general, but seeing everything go by as I made my way home, I thought to myself. "How many of these buildings did the person go through every day? How many people walked past him, and interacted with him? How did he feel about everything around him?" I looked at my station as I left, and I thought about how he would never get to see these buildings, go through this commute, or see those kinds of people again. The world just continues to change without him.

Then I realise, I was also initially annoyed, and maybe even frustrated when I heard our train was delayed. Everyone was annoyed. This was going to be my plan too. Would I annoy the people on my line? Would my last decision also cause people annoyance?

I'm not sure how I would feel about that. I think I'd feel bad for them, but I also feel I shouldn't be obliged to care. Wherever they are in the world, or wherever the person that killed themselves is, I hope they're all okay.

I hope everyone can be okay.

For everyone who doesn't care, I hope you're okay too.

 

[endboss]

You have a good heart!

 

[ravendrops]

You were thinking about it. That seems like something.

 

[lohre2000s]

Oh you live in Japan too? That's cool, I just moved here.
Also, I think in this specific it's more about the "rush hour" thingy than anything else. You yourself cared, which is beautiful and makes me wonder how many more people cared but were unable to show because they were already filled with problems of their own?
I don't know, in these types of situations I tend to look at the positive side, and anyway, you yourself cared. So that's already beautiful.

 

[raikko]

You have a good heart!

Thank you!

I cleaned my room today, and all I could think about was how bad of a person I was, so this helps calm those thoughts down a little.