Venting no reason to stay

[.koocain]

the boy that actually made my life worth living and gave me a reason to stay and to improve myself everyday left. honestly as days pass i slowly get disappointed by everyone in my life.the more paranoid i am the more correct my beliefs on ppl tend to be, but i have some sort of hope for humanity bc of the way i love? if yhat makes sense. anyways now that hes gone and i literally have no one left whats the point pf me being here and feeling physical and mental pain everyday when i could just rest forever. im failing every subject, my exams are soon and i have no energy to even open my books. even thinkivg about returning to that shithole place makes me nauseous. i literally avoid every problem in my life till the last seconf when its too big for me to handle.
gosh i dont think anyone would pity me if i left. what is my role in thiss worldddd, if i fail how couldi get a job, especially if i cant hold a conversation longer than 30 seconds. why am i like this i cant look at anyone in the eye and speak ro them.

 

[ElTopo]

the boy that actually made my life worth living and gave me a reason to stay and to improve myself everyday left. honestly as days pass i slowly get disappointed by everyone in my life.the more paranoid i am the more correct my beliefs on ppl tend to be, but i have some sort of hope for humanity bc of the way i love? if yhat makes sense. anyways now that hes gone and i literally have no one left whats the point pf me being here and feeling physical and mental pain everyday when i could just rest forever. im failing every subject, my exams are soon and i have no energy to even open my books. even thinkivg about returning to that shithole place makes me nauseous. i literally avoid every problem in my life till the last seconf when its too big for me to handle.
gosh i dont think anyone would pity me if i left. what is my role in thiss worldddd, if i fail how couldi get a job, especially if i cant hold a conversation longer than 30 seconds. why am i like this i cant look at anyone in the eye and speak ro them.

It's probably hard to process a breakup when you are already suicidal and in pain, you tend to mix the things and the reasons of your pain. Do you really want to go for the sake of just one person? And honestly I haven't met a single person who knows what their role is in this world, if something like a role even exists.
It's alright to take a break from studying if you feel like shit, you broke up, it's not just a bad Sunday, you have a reason to feel bad, embrace it and move one. You have a lot more to offer to yourself.

 

[.koocain]

It's probably hard to process a breakup when you are already suicidal and in pain, you tend to mix the things and the reasons of your pain. Do you really want to go for the sake of just one person? And honestly I haven't met a single person who knows what their role is in this world, if something like a role even exists.
It's alright to take a break from studying if you feel like shit, you broke up, it's not just a bad Sunday, you have a reason to feel bad, embrace it and move one. You have a lot more to offer to yourself.

im trying my best to get over it i just feel so lost like i dont know what to do anymore i have nothing planned, dont even see myself living past my 20s