I am so torn. I've been dealing with a brain infection for 5 years. I've lost everything in that time. I don't want to die. I also can't live in this pain. I suffer from profound depersonalization and derealization. It physically hurts to be alive. I've lost all connection to reality but for writing and texting. I know the devastation cTB will cause. I also don't know if I have the courage to do it. But the pain is otherworldly. I did ketamine and it only made symptoms worse. I don't sleep. Or eat well. Or work. Or do anything in once did as a successful, vital and mostly happy person.
Please. I need guidance on how to end the pain. I don't think I can withstand any more aggressive treatment and believe the ptsd from it all will keep me living in terror and dependent for the rest of my life.
I need help in finding a method. Almost had N but it was caught in customs. I have sodium nitrate which I learned is wrong. I also have pills. Xanax. Antibiotics. Remeron. Trazodone. Lithium. Naltrexone. Who can advise? I want peace.
I'm afraid pills will fail me. Will sodium nitrate work? Or should it be nitrite. I can't seem to
Figure out the exit bag and fear I will do it incorrectly, even with the videos.
Please. I need guidance on how to end the pain. I don't think I can withstand any more aggressive treatment and believe the ptsd from it all will keep me living in terror and dependent for the rest of my life.
I need help in finding a method. Almost had N but it was caught in customs. I have sodium nitrate which I learned is wrong. I also have pills. Xanax. Antibiotics. Remeron. Trazodone. Lithium. Naltrexone. Who can advise? I want peace.
I'm afraid pills will fail me. Will sodium nitrate work? Or should it be nitrite. I can't seem to
Figure out the exit bag and fear I will do it incorrectly, even with the videos.
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