Hello!
I am here because I want things to change. I've been struggling with depression for just a bit under 10 years now, starting when I was around 12. It's truly a never ending cycle, things get a bit better before getting worse. Even therapy and medication feels like a bandage rather than a solution.
My relation to suicide evolved around with depression. I was always "comfortable" with the possibility of ending my life, but I didn't really want to until a few years ago, right around the end of high school. Since then, it's gotten worse and worse, and here we are. Depression has gotten truly unbearable, so right around a month ago I tried to take my life. I couldn't, obviously, but it really changed everything in me, for the worse.
Even when I wasn't feeling awful, I always looked at suicide as an option, but now I don't know. I don't want to admit this, but I don't think I can ever kill myself. Which is way more terrifying than being suicidal, for me at least. I never felt this trapped.
Anyways, this is all I wanted to share, just typing it out could help I figured. Stay safe y'all and I love every one of you <3
I am here because I want things to change. I've been struggling with depression for just a bit under 10 years now, starting when I was around 12. It's truly a never ending cycle, things get a bit better before getting worse. Even therapy and medication feels like a bandage rather than a solution.
My relation to suicide evolved around with depression. I was always "comfortable" with the possibility of ending my life, but I didn't really want to until a few years ago, right around the end of high school. Since then, it's gotten worse and worse, and here we are. Depression has gotten truly unbearable, so right around a month ago I tried to take my life. I couldn't, obviously, but it really changed everything in me, for the worse.
Even when I wasn't feeling awful, I always looked at suicide as an option, but now I don't know. I don't want to admit this, but I don't think I can ever kill myself. Which is way more terrifying than being suicidal, for me at least. I never felt this trapped.
Anyways, this is all I wanted to share, just typing it out could help I figured. Stay safe y'all and I love every one of you <3
