Venting N, gunshot, advise on N pls

[Jack'sPain]

I can only afford one financially,
Gunshot was my preferred method of Ctb except its hard me for. Me to obtain a reliable gun here in India
Except a contact maybe just opened up
Right now, though the current trauma has physically ended, lyk I've moved out of the house
Where I was so triggered to pull the trigger if I had
But I still wanna ctb coz most of the trauma is mental, due hurt, loss, injustice keeps me in too much depression n anxiety..

I'm sorry to say this again, I'm scared of ctb by drugs or poison coz I really fear paralysis in that case... Though as you guys here tell, N is very reliable, if we can get..

But I actually never thought or planned ctb by drugs, nd some suggestions or tips & guidance in this method pls

Sory, I'm writing in anxiety rn

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I'm not sure what you're asking. I hear you about being scared of drugs or poison. I relate. It really sucks to feel anxious. I feel that way too.