Venting My therapist appointment

[Life_and_Death]

My appt is in about a week. And I'm right where I was last time.

Last time, I was going to attempt suicide the morning of because of the stress but my husband messaged me while I was sitting there with the rope around my neck. I then ended up cancelling the appt which caused my friend to stop talking to me because he didn't see my stress levels. All he saw was I wasn't getting help which stressed him out (however after explaining that I was going to kms because of it 'well fuck oops' was basically his response. (completely reworded in a me way but you get the idea)).

And that's basically where I am again waiting for this week to go by. I can't fucking handle it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but getting help shouldn't make you want to kys.
I know this is wrong. I know if I'm feeling this way it has to stop. But I'm so scared....

 

[whywere]

HI! You ARE brave! Let me explain please. You are a bright, beautiful person that has butterflies about a therapist appointment. I am the same way. Any medical of any nature drives me up a wall. Always try and remember that you have your entire global family here to help and guide you along the way. Scared? You bet it is! BUT, YOU can handle it with every ones love and support here. I really love and care about you and you can make it with our love and help. Sending you lots of hugs, love and SUPPORT. Enjoy a wonderful weekend with sunny skies. Walter

 

[Life_and_Death]

HI! You ARE brave! Let me explain please. You are a bright, beautiful person that has butterflies about a therapist appointment. I am the same way. Any medical of any nature drives me up a wall. Always try and remember that you have your entire global family here to help and guide you along the way. Scared? You bet it is! BUT, YOU can handle it with every ones love and support here. I really love and care about you and you can make it with our love and help. Sending you lots of hugs, love and SUPPORT. Enjoy a wonderful weekend with sunny skies. Walter

Thank you but it's not the appointment it's my husband that's the problem. The appointment is just about him and at the end of it my whole world is probably going to be torn apart.
I haven't even told him I'm going to my appointment alone yet...

 

[whywere]

Thank you but it's not the appointment it's my husband that's the problem. The appointment is just about him and at the end of it my whole world is probably going to be torn apart.
I haven't even told him I'm going to my appointment alone yet...

THANK YOU for the clarification. I am sorry that I got it wrong, yes I am a idiot! I still hope that you can get everything resolved as you ARE such a nice and kind global family member and I could NOT ever think of NOT having you with all of us here. I BELIEVE in YOU!!!! Walter

 

[Life_and_Death]

THANK YOU for the clarification. I am sorry that I got it wrong, yes I am a idiot! I still hope that you can get everything resolved as you ARE such a nice and kind global family member and I could NOT ever think of NOT having you with all of us here. I BELIEVE in YOU!!!! Walter

Everyone but me seems to. Hugs and thank you. :)
Also don't worry about the mistake, I know I'm not typically the clearist in my op but just ask and I'll always clarify. My ops is basically me trying to get my jumble of thoughts and feelings out

 

[czx85]

This title is so scary for me... to a point that I hesitated more than 10 times to click on it >.<

 

[Life_and_Death]

This title is so scary for me... to a point that I hesitated more than 10 times to click on it >.<

You didn't have to click on it. You could have even ignored it so you can't see it if it makes you that uncomfortable

 

[czx85]

You didn't have to click on it. You could have even ignored it so you can't see it if it makes you that uncomfortable

I personally don't have any negative feeling to this post, and I'm very sorry about what you have to deal with. I personally have similar experiences, it's just bringing back some of my worst nightmares...
I hope you would get impacted by this as less as possible...

 

[Bat 17]

I would tell you that as your SS-friend I really really really want you to go to that appointment, it will be really good for you

But I'm not going to do that because that will trigger BPD-do-the-harmful-opposite lol

 

[RedHarlequin]

Maybe you can go to your first appointment with your husband? I'm sure if you explain the situation to your therapist they won't mind.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I would tell you that as your SS-friend I really really really want you to go to that appointment, it will be really good for you

But I'm not going to do that because that will trigger BPD-do-the-harmful-opposite lol

Yeah I know. I've got 2 friends outside of here that are trying to help me through the week. I've been trying to use the pain I'm in as a push. If I want it to stop I have to keep going.

Maybe you can go to your first appointment with your husband? I'm sure if you explain the situation to your therapist they won't mind.

The problem isn't the appointment. (well it's not my first appointment, however my first one alone. So yeah that isn't exactly helping) the problem is the topic. I'm going to talk to her ABOUT my husband and how I need things to change now