• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
W

Wanderer

New Member
Jun 15, 2021
3
It's funny how people say that life holds no meaning. I feel no sense of purpose, yet I have this strong instinct to keep going.

I don't fear the pain related to dying, I actually want to make myself suffer as much as possible. I have fantasies of skinning myself alive while millions of people watch. I want to make my death something grand, and I want everyone to see it. But I can't make this happen as it's not the pain while dying that hinders me but rather the idea of dying in and of itself.

This instinct I have to live is, ironically enough, ruining my life. I don't know when it will go away and let me die. I'm really desperate for some form of relief. Living is unbearable.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: CircleOfSquare, patheticpartner, forgotten15 and 5 others
fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
age old question: how to overcome survival instinct. Welcome to sanctioned suicide @Wanderer
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: CircleOfSquare, forgotten15 and Wanderer
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,634
It is difficult to ctb, as after all we are programmed to survive. It is the way we have evolved. We deserve an option of euthanasia, as then we will not have to deal with the survival instinct. I'm sorry that things are so unbearable. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
 
  • Love
Reactions: patheticpartner
forgotten15

forgotten15

Specialist
Aug 24, 2021
332
SI is the only reason I am still here. I absolutely hate that we have it in us.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: patheticpartner and Ash

Similar threads

sadsillygoose
Replies
0
Views
247
Suicide Discussion
sadsillygoose
sadsillygoose
bl33ding_heart
Replies
17
Views
792
Suicide Discussion
wine is fine but
W
Michelstaedter
Replies
4
Views
207
Suicide Discussion
dust-in-the-wind
dust-in-the-wind
N
Replies
1
Views
157
Suicide Discussion
ZwartHartje
ZwartHartje