Help My questions about SN part 2, also the reason I wanna “CTB” as I’ve seen it referred to as

[jonathanSmith]

my question is about availability. When looking for SN is there some specific detail I should be looking out for? Like purity or some of those chemistry acronyms? since I hear so much how SN is hard to get, and yet if I just google "sodium nitrite for purchase" I get many results. Ignoring Amazon I get LabDirectllc, chemdirect and much more.

If I can't find SN can I make it at home? I found This YT video and many YT vids on how to make sodium nitrite.

the reason why Im asking this so much is because if I am going to do this, and I will. I want to do it right.

The reason why is because I've realized just how not smart I really am, all of my essays get extremely poor results, I'm lucky if I get a 70 on my math tests, my APCSP teacher makes me feel like shit consistently. And I have many regrets in my life. I am not depressed because I've accepted all this. So whenever I do schoolwork I expect that no matter how much I study, I will always fail, and my parents always get so pissed but never do anything about it. I hate my parents, I hate my older sister. I understand this is nothing and extremely petty compared to the stuff other people have felt on this site, I know. I still wanna die as much as the rest of you. I never vent to people since I know my problems are nothing compared to the things other people have suffered.

 

[jodes2]

I have an SN source. It's the only source I know of but it's good, if a bit expensive but you have to be 21 and need ID

 

[almaranthine]

A lot of these search results that pop up will not sell SN to regular individuals. You have to have some kind of credentials, whether it be a registered business that would need the product, a school, laboratory etc.

Also, it sounds like you are still pretty young as you are still in school. I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings... but please do not take your life because of some shitty teacher and that your parents are upset by your grades. Being disillusioned by school is pretty common, and not everyone is able to do well within the education system. Perhaps a different path would be better suited to you and your strengths. It's not my place to tell you not to ctb, but I want to caution you to really consider why you feel the way you do, and if you have the fortitude to make changes that could improve your satisfaction with life. It sounds like a culmination of many different things that has led to your feelings of hopelessness. But if some of these things were out of the picture, like the teacher, who eventually won't be your teacher anymore, and dealing with your family so much (say you are able to find a better living situation) do you think you would still feel the same? Best wishes wherever this life takes you

 

[Octogenarian]

I'm not sure what "registered business" means, but I got SN from a U.S. company that advertises on the Internet and I just made up a "business" name and used it and my home address (an apartment).