My psychiatrist wants me to spend time with people but I want to be alone

[StolenLife]

Believe me, I have tried with people. But it just isn't for me. They constantly trigger my paranoia and misophonia. Right now the only people who I communicate with on a regular basis are my family, a therapist and two psychiatrists. I got abused severly by certain people as a child and I'm constantly terrified that they are still after me. Which is why I live like I'm either a hikikomori or someone in witness protection programme. I am fine with that kind of life, earlier before my attempt I had a depressive episode when I was lonely and I had sort of an existential crisis but when I tried hanging out with people I realized I was much happier alone after all. I don't understand why my psychiatrist is so bothered by me not speaking to anyone else. I'm aware that I'll have to communicate on a job, but that's a necessary evil I'm prepared to do. I don't want to do anything else besides the bare minimum to survive regarding communication. I just feel better and safer this way. Why is it anyone else's business if I am not hurting anyone?

 

[Hollowman]

Do what's right for you. It's not any of their business, they're just trying to get you to conform to the norm.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Believe me, I have tried with people. But it just isn't for me. They constantly trigger my paranoia and misophonia. Right now the only people who I communicate with on a regular basis are my family, a therapist and two psychiatrists. I got abused severly by certain people as a child and I'm constantly terrified that they are still after me. Which is why I live like I'm either a hikikomori or someone in witness protection programme. I am fine with that kind of life, earlier before my attempt I had a depressive episode when I was lonely and I had sort of an existential crisis but when I tried hanging out with people I realized I was much happier alone after all. I don't understand why my psychiatrist is so bothered by me not speaking to anyone else. I'm aware that I'll have to communicate on a job, but that's a necessary evil I'm prepared to do. I don't want to do anything else besides the bare minimum to survive regarding communication. I just feel better and safer this way. Why is it anyone else's business if I am not hurting anyone?

I understand your psychiatrist's view tbh. Humans (generally speaking, not saying it 100% applies to you) are typically social animals, thriving when able to communicate with others.

I will say though. You are well within your rights to minimize social interaction to your fullest extent, especially if that's what comforts you. I imagine your psychiatrist is just trying to get you to step outside of your comfort zone a little. Have you expressed that you've tried social interaction, and by your own experience, you have deduced that you are far more comfortable alone?

 

[flyingrabbitt]

I get you, I'm similar where I prefer to keep to myself. As much as having friends would be nice it's also terrifying, and majority of people aren't understanding enough to be friends with someone who is mentally ill. I have a few online friends which is a good middle ground but I don't seek out friends, it just kinda happens.

 

[StolenLife]

I understand your psychiatrist's view tbh. Humans (generally speaking, not saying it 100% applies to you) are typically social animals, thriving when able to communicate with others.

I will say though. You are well within your rights to minimize social interaction to your fullest extent, especially if that's what comforts you. I imagine your psychiatrist is just trying to get you to step outside of your comfort zone a little. Have you expressed that you've tried social interaction, and by your own experience, you have deduced that you are far more comfortable alone?

I have expressed that but they don't give up. My psychiatrists keep pushing me to go outside. I feel very uncomfortable around people and I don't think it's fair towards me or people I'm with if I have to force myself to communicate.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I have expressed that but they don't give up. My psychiatrists keep pushing me to go outside. I feel very uncomfortable around people and I don't think it's fair towards me or people I'm with if I have to force myself to communicate.

Well that's not very considerate of them, then. It is not fair for you that they don't respect your wishes. It wouldn't be pleasant, for me at least, to be around someone who clearly doesn't want to be around me. Your psychiatrists shouldn't be pushing you to do that if you've expressed your desire not to.

 

[chloramine]

I have expressed that but they don't give up. My psychiatrists keep pushing me to go outside. I feel very uncomfortable around people and I don't think it's fair towards me or people I'm with if I have to force myself to communicate.

Do they know that you talk to people online? Maybe they would consider that as good enough progress not to push? Having people can help in my experience, but if you're constantly being triggered that's not going to help and it's not going to be an environment that teaches your brain that people can be okay. If that's something you're interested in changing then there are possibilities, but mindlessly forcing yourself into triggers is not the way to do it.