Background
I was considering shotgun in the mouth but choking on my own blood didn't sound quite so appealing so we're gonna try this first. I admit, my main fear is it becoming an air choke and not being able to breathe. So will probably do plenty of practice rounds just to try it out and get a feel for it. If I accidentally pass out in the meantime- well, that's the best case scenario LOL, but I'll be very careful.
Backup Method?
However, I am conflicted. If I fail or if something goes wrong or S.I. kicks in there's always a possibility of hospitalization or being committed. And if that happens I'll no longer qualify for buying a gun. A SBS gun may be painful but it's a surefire way out of life. But has many more barriers (E.g. I can't drive far and I would need to in order to get somewhere isolated to do it). So I wonder whether I should buy the gun before I make ANY attempts. I think it'd only take a few days - a week to get it (TBD). But the idea of having a shotgun in my home is.. downright scary. I can be quite impulsive and I'd wanna plan that out to be very thorough, not make an impulsive choice. Plus before I go through that level of pain I do need to give it another long hard thinking session. Chronic pain every day sucks, but.. that would too.. Lol.
Any tips are welcome. I've read through:
sanctioned-suicide.net
Materials I'm using:
I won't be using opiods because with a low success rate method like this, I'm not willing to risk opiod withdrawal if I fail. For now just considering this as 'testing the waters'. If it cuts off my airway I don't think I could follow through.
Medications I'll take if I decide to try it for real:
Cyclobenzaprine 5MG muscle relaxer x1
- I'll probably take a little less than the max dosage as I injured my kidneys a year ago
- Drink 1 glass of water with it prob.
I also take 3 other medications for daily/weekly use. These will be kept private but are unrelated and do not interact with the above meds.
Medications/Drugs I will NOT take:
Ibuprofen
I was initially considering trichloromethane (chloroform) as an anesthetic but it seems difficult to obtain and tricky to use properly. Other users (like CBT Warrior) report it not doing much by making it yourself.
Thanks :)
Edit: Oh, and I'll be using the slipknot. Adjustable tightness is quite attractive, but I can't fully comprehend how that'll actually work until I get the rope.
I was considering shotgun in the mouth but choking on my own blood didn't sound quite so appealing so we're gonna try this first. I admit, my main fear is it becoming an air choke and not being able to breathe. So will probably do plenty of practice rounds just to try it out and get a feel for it. If I accidentally pass out in the meantime- well, that's the best case scenario LOL, but I'll be very careful.
Backup Method?
However, I am conflicted. If I fail or if something goes wrong or S.I. kicks in there's always a possibility of hospitalization or being committed. And if that happens I'll no longer qualify for buying a gun. A SBS gun may be painful but it's a surefire way out of life. But has many more barriers (E.g. I can't drive far and I would need to in order to get somewhere isolated to do it). So I wonder whether I should buy the gun before I make ANY attempts. I think it'd only take a few days - a week to get it (TBD). But the idea of having a shotgun in my home is.. downright scary. I can be quite impulsive and I'd wanna plan that out to be very thorough, not make an impulsive choice. Plus before I go through that level of pain I do need to give it another long hard thinking session. Chronic pain every day sucks, but.. that would too.. Lol.
Any tips are welcome. I've read through:
How to hang yourself
I just thought this information is better off here now, because the original source has been taken down. If this violates any rules or if the author doesn't want this information to be reproduced on other sites, the admins or mods are free to delete my thread. I hope you don't mind, this is very...
sanctioned-suicide.net
Materials I'm using:
- BLACK DIAMOND 9.9 Sport Rock Climbing Rope (May cut some socks and put the rope through the socks to soften it)
- I ordered a pull up bar. I'm 6 ft and the bar is 6 ft 6 in so not as tall as I'd like but I've used it before and it seems solid enough to handle body seizing when I'm unconscious. Although I might end up punching some metal in my sleep
I won't be using opiods because with a low success rate method like this, I'm not willing to risk opiod withdrawal if I fail. For now just considering this as 'testing the waters'. If it cuts off my airway I don't think I could follow through.
Medications I'll take if I decide to try it for real:
Cyclobenzaprine 5MG muscle relaxer x1
- In past 1x made me debilitating levels of sleepy for 30+ hours. And debilitating levels of eye issues the next day.
- Might help me fall asleep more quickly. And reduce body jerking when I'm unconscious. Idk.
- Taken with a little food
- Prob will wait for food to digest a bit b4 I hang.
- Protects against a diff kind of muscle spasm.
- Take with a little food. Prob will wait for food to digest a bit b4 I hang.
- I'll probably take a little less than the max dosage as I injured my kidneys a year ago
- Drink 1 glass of water with it prob.
I also take 3 other medications for daily/weekly use. These will be kept private but are unrelated and do not interact with the above meds.
Medications/Drugs I will NOT take:
Ibuprofen
- Stops blood clotting so can increase risk of bleeding. Given this death shouldn't involve bleeding, I don't want it to encourage it to start.
- Has multiple medications mixed in (Acetaminophen, histamine, etc) and increases risk of drug interactions and complications
- Interacts with muscle relaxers & maybe Acetaminophen, I forget
- Can sometimes increase pain
- I've never once been able to fall asleep when drunk or tipsy. It prevents sleep for me.
- While I've tolerated this well in the past, unfortunately it may interact with muscle relaxers via serotonin syndrome.
- I believe if I just don't overdo it on the other meds I hopefully won't have a reason to be nauseous
I was initially considering trichloromethane (chloroform) as an anesthetic but it seems difficult to obtain and tricky to use properly. Other users (like CBT Warrior) report it not doing much by making it yourself.
Thanks :)
Edit: Oh, and I'll be using the slipknot. Adjustable tightness is quite attractive, but I can't fully comprehend how that'll actually work until I get the rope.
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