My N has arrived. How can I get over my fear of death?

[steviewonder]

Hopefully I'm close to the void, but how can I get over this fear? There probably is no easy answer to this.

 

[Death is beautiful]

Oh, buddy, you're lucky if you managed to get N, I dream about the same thing, but unfortunately I won't be able to afford it. As for the fear of death, you have to choose one of two evils, (although I do not consider death an evil) to live on or CTB.

 

[Trattkantarellen198]

Hopefully I'm close to the void, but how can I get over this fear? There probably is no easy answer to this.

It's off topic, but please let me ask you; it's winter, and the N did not freeze then? I am planning on buying this spring because of fear of it being frozen =/

 

[Catloaf]

It's off topic, but please let me ask you; it's winter, and the N did not freeze then? I am planning on buying this spring because of fear of it being frozen =/

I think there's nothing to worry about. It's not like the parcel would be left outside for a long period of time. Plane -> warehouse -> car -> you

 

[Shu]

What is a N?

 

[FuneralCry]

I am not scared of death, but instead I am scared of life. The way I see it, when we die all the suffering will end and there will be peace. I think many people overcome their fear of death when the pain of living gets unbearable and they are desperate to escape. We are all human and I believe there is only so much suffering that one can take. I think if I had N I would be comforted by the knowledge that I have a peaceful way to exit at a time of my own choosing. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Interloper]

It's off topic, but please let me ask you; it's winter, and the N did not freeze then? I am planning on buying this spring because of fear of it being frozen =/

It's summer in australia. But like catloaf said, it won't (or shouldn't) be outside for long, if you're in the US where they just throw parcels at your door, I'd be more worried about that.

Been having the same struggle OP, playing games that make me hate myself even more so I hit complete mental rock bottom.

 

[Crazy4u]

why are you scared of death?

 

[LostMyWorld]

I fear it not working….it has to work

 

[PrisonBreak]

This might sound weird but I fear both life and death. I fear both but I have to make a choice and be content with it. I think you have to know what you really want.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I am not scared of death, but instead I am scared of life. The way I see it, when we die all the suffering will end and there will be peace. I think many people overcome their fear of death when the pain of living gets unbearable and they are desperate to escape. We are all human and I believe there is only so much suffering that one can take. I think if I had N I would be comforted by the knowledge that I have a peaceful way to exit at a time of my own choosing. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

I was going to say this same thing but phrase it as you asked the wrong question , you should be asking "how can I make myself so afraid of life that I absolutely must get out "

 

[steviewonder]

I am not scared of death, but instead I am scared of life. The way I see it, when we die all the suffering will end and there will be peace. I think many people overcome their fear of death when the pain of living gets unbearable and they are desperate to escape. We are all human and I believe there is only so much suffering that one can take. I think if I had N I would be comforted by the knowledge that I have a peaceful way to exit at a time of my own choosing. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

I like that way of thinking. I agree.

 

[Somber]

What is a N?

Nembutal, a drug that is used in euthanasia and veterinary anesthesia

 

[silentnight]

Hopefully I'm close to the void, but how can I get over this fear? There probably is no easy answer to this.

How much did you pay for it?

 

[jimmy7754]

If I had it.. I would be dead right now with this current mindset.. I would just convince myself I'm indefinitely going to a better place

 

[steviewonder]

How much did you pay for it?

it costs around $500 per bottle. I bought 3 bottles just incase my death fails. Don't know whether I'll take 2 or 1. I'm skinny so maybe I can get away with 1

 

[gottago222]

it costs around $500 per bottle. I bought 3 bottles just incase my death fails. Don't know whether I'll take 2 or 1. I'm skinny so maybe I can get away with 1

how tall are you? are you young and strong ?

 

[InezSerrano]

What I did was get SN instead and tell myself if I really regret it maybe the hospital can save me.

how tall are you? are you young and strong ?

Wouldn't weight matter more?

 

[gottago222]

What I did was get SN instead and tell myself if I really regret it maybe the hospital can save me.

Wouldn't weight matter more?

tall people weigh more even when they are skinny and need to take more drugs to experience the same effects as a short skinny person. ive read young healthy people need more n than an old frail person

 

[Lost Magic]

Stevie, get some Propranolol mate. That will reduce your heart rate significantly and reduce anxiety levels. Benzos would help as well. Best wishes to you!

 

[steviewonder]

how tall are you? are you young and strong ?

I'm 5'9 weighing 52 kg (9 stone)

 

[NeverGoBack94]

Hopefully I'm close to the void, but how can I get over this fear? There probably is no easy answer to this.

I have the same problem.

I sometimes get an urge to die and I need to do the suicide immediately then. No method which requires long preparation will go then.

N should be easier to outright drink than SN which requires mixing first and lots of preparation (fasting, antiemetics, etc).

 

[Death is beautiful]

I have the same problem.

I sometimes get an urge to die and I need to do the suicide immediately then. No method which requires long preparation will go then.

N should be easier to outright drink than SN which requires mixing first and lots of preparation (fasting, antiemetics, etc).

N is better than SN for many reasons, if I had N I would drink it today before going to bed

 

[NeverGoBack94]

N is better than SN for many reasons, if I had N I would drink it today before going to bed

I have the money for N but for some reason I am stingy with my money and can't justify that 500€ expense.

 

[steviewonder]

I have the money for N but for some reason I am stingy with my money and can't justify that 500€ expense.

I stopped being stingy after I realized I was going to die anyway who cares lol

 

[stilldreaming]

A fear of death is extremely natural. Think about it, for the 3.5 bn years of life, there is has been one drive: to survive (and reproduce). You are attempting to overcome an impulse that has existed for 3.5bn years.

For myself, it's about both the current pain of life and how much pain/joy I can reasonably expect in the future. Some days are worse than others, but one thing I know for certain is that my future will be awful. I've been suicidal for so many years, and when I first got my helium tanks 8 years ago - if you had told me it would turn out like this despite all therapy and medical treatment, I would've done the deed then.

So yeah. I expect how much hope for the future an individual has greatly impacts how difficult it is to actually exit.

I'm so envious you have N. I've been so scared to try to order...worried about getting scammed / border issues. Not to mention, I have massive focus issues so figuring out how to order (despite the info on here), just complicates things. But I dunno, seeing people like you who've succeeded - do you mind if I ask, would the instructions in the recent thread "The N Files" work, do you think? eg you used one of the sellers listed with no problem...? And just to confirm, but it sounds like you recently ordered? And if so, could I please ask about how long it took to receive it?

 

[Faraknur]

if my mum were to day today i would die with her

 

[Oblivion]

I learnt from someone here that you need to feel a great deal of pain, you're not afraid, you're just not in enough pain, you might be numb more than in pain.

 

[Lost Magic]

if my mum were to day today i would die with her

I actually feel this way as well, although, my mother died a few years back from cancer. I tried to starve myself to death and thought about hanging but then I started focusing on attaining more peaceful methods. I hope to join her soon.

 

[Axll12345]

Literally me the past year. Tried all sorts of passive methods like starving, dehydrating myself. I'm going with N.

My mom also died from metastatic breast cancer.