My mom said that if I go, she will also leave. Do you think she's bluffing?

[Sourdough]

I begged her to let me go as im sick and only getting worse, only suffering. She said tearfully that wherever I go she will follow. This is too much weight to bear.

 

[Ecka-26]

A Mother's Love for her child is like nothing else in the world, and I'm sorry to hear you suffering stay strong x*hugs*x

 

[waitingforrest]

I know some people say they will go too if you do as a way to make us reconsider. But sometimes, it can feel heartbreaking to hear.

The things that people say to try to make you feel better, can create feelings of guilt. We don't want to make our loved ones cry, just want the pain to stop.

I'm sorry, it is hard to bear.

 

[takemenowpls]

Losing a child is one of the hardest things a MOM could have to go through. I truly believe a father can bare this but not a MOM. while I don't know your reasons for not wanting to live I can say this… if she said she'd go too I wouldn't doubt it.

 

[Smart No More]

Sounds tough. It's good you can be that open with her. Unfortunately none of us can tell you whether she's bluffing but as you have such an honest relationship with her maybe you should tell her how it makes you feel that she said that. It puts more pressure on you and makes it worse. If you were to pass but she knew the only way to honour you was to go on living I would hope that's what she'd choose to do.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'd say just as much as you have the absolute right to decide whether you live or die, so does your mom.

 

[Cronetappingout]

Not a bluff.

 

[Smart No More]

I'd say just as much as you have the absolute right to decide whether you live or die, so does your mom.

Yeah but nobody wants to be the cause of it. That's the crux of their issue.

 

[thebunny]

i'm sorry to hear that you have this extra weight you have to bear. i hope that you find your well deserved peace and that your mother would understand your situation fully.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yeah but nobody wants to be the cause of it. That's the crux of their issue.

I think that's irrelevant. You're either pro-choice.......................................or you're not.

 

[FrootyBat]

It's guilt and is a bluff. Apologies to anyone who disagrees. I just know from my own anecdotal evidence. I hope you find solace with whatever you choose to do.

 

[Euthanza]

Do you have other sibling who isn't suicidal?

Once you decide to go and there's no turning back, you better acknowledge that your mother will need support system around her.

 

[ForbiddenSiren]

My mum has said the same thing. She cares about you and doesnt want you to die.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think that's irrelevant. You're either pro-choice.......................................or you're not.

I think you can still be pro-choice but care about not wanting to devastate those closest to you. I suspect that's why a lot of people try their best to hang on.

 

[Hollowillow]

I begged her to let me go as im sick and only getting worse, only suffering. She said tearfully that wherever I go she will follow. This is too much weight to bear.

I had an abusive mother so I detect manipulation & abuse with a high dose of paranoia...

The way she said it... Strangely to me... She sounds like she respects your decision... That she wants to go too... It's heartbreaking, poetic...

Many survivor end up suicidal, it's hard for a mom to lose a child. Maybe she suffered and held on for you...

She sounds like she loves you...

She might even help you do it... Together. If so... I have... Never seen... A mother love their child so much...

 

[carnivore]

Losing a child is one of the hardest things a MOM could have to go through. I truly believe a father can bare this but not a MOM.

It's a terrible generalization

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's impossible to know whether your Mum would go ahead and carry out her threat. I think what she said does come from a place of desperate love- she obviously doesn't want to loose you. Still, it is a form of emotional blackmail really- basically 'you'll cause my death' if you do this.

I relate to your position but with my Dad. I don't want to devastate his life- we've both already gone through enough shit. Kind of because of this, I've never actually told him the extent of how badly I feel. I do feel (currently) like I can keep going though. I think it gets to a point for everyone where they simply can't take it anymore.

I find it super ironic really- that many of us try and stay alive for our parents when they are the ones who brought us into this mess in the first place!

I would say that many people (including your Mum) try to make us feel like suicide is purely selfish- and honestly, I suppose it is- but then- it's no more selfish than insisting someone carries on with their miserable, painful life continually suffering because it will impact the other person's life if we choose to end it. I'd argue that suicide is in fact less selfish than birthing a child into all this.

I'm sorry you have this massive burden now on top of what you are already suffering with. You must feel incredibly trapped.

 

[jodes2]

Sorry to hear that. But you'd both be in a better place?

 

[obafgkm]

Killing two birds with one stone isn't always a good thing.

 

[woknows]

Most likely it is a bluff. She made it, cause she cares about you (probably, there is the option of her being a narcissist). You know her best and I am sure you feel what the correct answer is.

If someone close to me told me they want to end their life, I am sure I would try to dissuade them. If they were terminally ill, I might get behind their wish to end their pointless suffering.

 

[chronicphysicalpain]

We can't know what she'll do or not.

And btw, it's her decision and her responsibility in any case.

You have to decide your own fate; you can't be labelled responsible -and of course, not guilty- of any potential decision of hers...

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound like guilt tripping to me. I think that it's selfish to try and force people to live against their wishes and make them feel bad for considering ctb. It's your life and your decision and after all only you know what is best. Others shouldn't have any say in it as they are not living your life.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think you can still be pro-choice but care about not wanting to devastate those closest to you. I suspect that's why a lot of people try their best to hang on.

Oh, I can understand guilt. Have plenty of it in my life. Lots of regrets and all that shit. But, my perspective is that ctb is an inherently selfish act. It has to be. How could it be anything else? And I submit that if someone has guilt about leaving because their leaving will hurt others, then they are not at the point of ctb. Needing to ends one's own pain has to become more important than causing pain to others by their leaving. It's really that simple, at least in my mind it is. My perspective may be coming from a different place from most others, since I don't have to worry (anymore) about hurting anyone else, since I don't have anyone at all that will be hurt by my leaving. I guess I'm just lucky that way, if you can call not having anyone lucky. Still, I stand by my assertion that only when one's own pain and misery of living becomes more important than worrying about causing any pain to others, are they actually at the place in their lives where they can ctb.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Oh, I can understand guilt. Have plenty of it in my life. Lots of regrets and all that shit. But, my perspective is that ctb is an inherently selfish act. It has to be. How could it be anything else? And I submit that if someone has guilt about leaving because their leaving will hurt others, then they are not at the point of ctb. Needing to ends one's own pain has to become more important than causing pain to others by their leaving. It's really that simple, at least in my mind it is. My perspective may be coming from a different place from most others, since I don't have to worry (anymore) about hurting anyone else, since I don't have anyone at all that will be hurt by my leaving. I guess I'm just lucky that way, if you can call not having anyone lucky. Still, I stand by my assertion that only when one's own pain and misery of living becomes more important than worrying about causing any pain to others, are they actually at the place in their lives where they can ctb.

Yes, I absolutely agree. Often seen it like a see-saw/ scale- your pain vs their pain. I'm of exactly the same opinion that for the people who do/have gone ahead with ctb- their pain has simply overshadowed everything else.