Venting My mh is causing me severe pain atm :)

[Bedrock48]

Been doing better for a while, really feeling like I've been making good progress. Then the support I've been getting for my mental health has slowly faded into nothing. I'm getting more support than ever atm, for everything except my mental health that is which is arguably most important.

Struggling to eat, struggling to sleep and it's almost like my body is preparing to ctb all on its own. I really want to put a date on the calendar and go for it this time. I can't keep feeling this pain. The idea of suicide is currently filling my stomach with a pit of dread though, not a feeling of calm like I want.

I'm conflicted and hurting.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I can imagine that it must be unbearable to be in so much pain. I understand that it is dreadful when things just get worse. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Bedrock48]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I can imagine that it must be unbearable to be in so much pain. I understand that it is dreadful when things just get worse. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

It's been horrible but I've been able to drag myself through knowing I've got some fun days planned ahead. I'm looking forward to seeing some friends and acquaintances. Hoping it won't be the last time. Appreciate your reply.

 

[Bedrock48]

I'm not sure if I can inflict this pain on anyone else, I have contemplated leaving next weekend but maybe I should try and be committed. I can't go on feeling this way anymore but what if those I leave start feeling the same?

I visited a forest today and the beauty was stunning, in pre ctb clarity I can really appreciate some of the beauty in reality and drink it in as if it could be the last time.