My life is so meaningless and that's one of the reasons I want to die

[biboty]

My life became meaningless when I gave up on having a life focused on work and decided that I would retire due to my schizophrenia, but at the same time I'm afraid of death because of the nightmares I always have. They are such vivid nightmares where I feel the pain of being stabbed, for example, and it's hard not to believe in the afterlife after having these experiences. I've tried to kill myself 5 times and now I feel trapped in a meaningless life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand finding it so futile to exist, I also feel so trapped in this existence of unnecessary suffering, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get. But anyway I wish you the best.