chewedmeat
cornballer
- Feb 14, 2026
- 8
I hate how i dont have the ability to care about anything, especially relationships. I yearn to have a close friendship or a romantic relationship with someone but i am fully unable to. I know ive been able to before since ive had relationships where im so close its almost a problem, i get jealous and overestimate how much they care about me, and i get upset they dont act like im their only and best friend. Even if its hypocritical of me to treat it like an obligation like that since i dont think i did the same, but it was so long ago i dont even remember.
I only find appeal in looking at people and being romantically interested, rather than actually being together, even if its a fantasy of mine constantly. For friends i cant determine whos a friend and whos a person i just dont care about. I dont care about my friends outside of them being a person thats entertaining me. I get kind of attached and only hang with one person even if we're in a group, and then i'll switch up for no reason and detach. This happened recently where i didnt see my friend for about a week and completely lost interest in them even though i really wish i couldve kept feeling the same about them.
i have a bad habit in getting irritated if they do something i dont feel like doing, even if it makes them happy. Most times i do something i know theyll appreciate is if i already played out the scenario where i do the thing and get praise. I feel like thats just the human experience most of the time, nobody is completely selfless.
I think its such a weird thing though since everyone seems to care so deeply about people, like my friend group often talks about our other friend who is 'struggling' (quote on quote because its very much just pretend, i dont want to get into it, im sure nobody cares) with great amounts of concern even though shes not around, and the things she does do have no physical affects or actual signs even though shes supposedly had them for years, along with her doing things that directly contridict it. Its very strange since i seem to be the only person that doesnt care, or feel irritation at it. I assumed people just act like they care because their your friend, i do it too, even if its exhausting to listen about some drama or issue that has zero effects on you and that you couldnt care less about.
I might be rambling because my thoughts are all over the place 24/7 but i doubt anyone will read this. But if you did read im curious if anyone else has similar experiences.
I only find appeal in looking at people and being romantically interested, rather than actually being together, even if its a fantasy of mine constantly. For friends i cant determine whos a friend and whos a person i just dont care about. I dont care about my friends outside of them being a person thats entertaining me. I get kind of attached and only hang with one person even if we're in a group, and then i'll switch up for no reason and detach. This happened recently where i didnt see my friend for about a week and completely lost interest in them even though i really wish i couldve kept feeling the same about them.
i have a bad habit in getting irritated if they do something i dont feel like doing, even if it makes them happy. Most times i do something i know theyll appreciate is if i already played out the scenario where i do the thing and get praise. I feel like thats just the human experience most of the time, nobody is completely selfless.
I think its such a weird thing though since everyone seems to care so deeply about people, like my friend group often talks about our other friend who is 'struggling' (quote on quote because its very much just pretend, i dont want to get into it, im sure nobody cares) with great amounts of concern even though shes not around, and the things she does do have no physical affects or actual signs even though shes supposedly had them for years, along with her doing things that directly contridict it. Its very strange since i seem to be the only person that doesnt care, or feel irritation at it. I assumed people just act like they care because their your friend, i do it too, even if its exhausting to listen about some drama or issue that has zero effects on you and that you couldnt care less about.
I might be rambling because my thoughts are all over the place 24/7 but i doubt anyone will read this. But if you did read im curious if anyone else has similar experiences.
