Cashewmilk
Specialist
- Mar 10, 2020
- 379
I had to euthanize him because he was suffering a lot from a really aggressive cancer :(
I spent so much time and energy caring for him for 3 years, I rescued him from a shitty life when he was about a year old. He would be 4 next month...
I used to post here before that I didn't want to think about CTB because I couldn't leave him behind, I'm the only one around here who knew how to care for him and knew what he wanted, so I couldn't even entertain any ideas, obviously I always entertain them but I mean I couldn't actually plan anything for real. I did buy SN and I still have it, not sure if it's going to work though because I'm not sure if it's legit. But yeah. He's gone, he's in the freezer, I held his dead body for a bit and caressed his ears and paws, I like to do that for some reason I also did this with my hamster after his sudden death. I think it's because of all the dead rats and mice from outside I had to clean up and rescue from my cat, so I used to also caress and feel their tails and fingers and faces, I love animals especially rodents and rodent-like creatures, but all animals though, I've also dealt with dead or sick birds from outdoors. I feel like it helps me grieve and face the reality of their death more when I do this...I never used to do that before I was terrified of dead bodies before and creeped out.
I'm sad but I'm also relieved that he's not suffering any more and having to deal with the cruelty of life. It's going to be an adjustment because he's not in my room anymore and I no longer have to worry about the lighting and temperature, or food, or the noise levels. I feel empty. But I'm glad I got the choice and time to prepare and say goodbye, of course he was a ball of spikes and wouldn't un-ball during my good-bye, but that's OK, he had just been gassed and woken up and was probably in a ton of pain. Poor thing...I'm never keeping animals after this, mostly because of my sanity and health and financial reasons, but I totally would if I was healthy, I would rescue them. But I am so against breeding and pet keeping now, after my experiences with a hamster and a hedgehog, I think people who breed them and keep them as pets and buy them are very selfish, no offense. These animals suffer so much, they are so prone to cancer and health issues because of inbreeding and bad breeding, all because selfish people want to have a cool pet. It's worse when people bother them all the time and pull them out from sleeping to "play" and "cuddle". And allergic people who dunk their hedgehogs in water everyday just so they can hold them and not get hives all over their hands, it's just such an extremely selfish thing to do that does nothing for the hedgehog except tortures them. Ah, sorry, I can't say this stuff on hedgehog or hamster groups, maybe I should and then just leave the group lol. Sorry for my misanthropic rant.
I still have a ton of methadone saved up from when I had carries. I have like 80+ bottles of 120mgs. I probably would still need an anti-emetic for that though. I don't know, but now I have nothing to stick around for. I have cats but they belong to my family as well, one of the cats I personally rescued so that one might be tough....but he's a tough cat and he has the love of my entire family and will never be alone again.
I spent so much time and energy caring for him for 3 years, I rescued him from a shitty life when he was about a year old. He would be 4 next month...
I used to post here before that I didn't want to think about CTB because I couldn't leave him behind, I'm the only one around here who knew how to care for him and knew what he wanted, so I couldn't even entertain any ideas, obviously I always entertain them but I mean I couldn't actually plan anything for real. I did buy SN and I still have it, not sure if it's going to work though because I'm not sure if it's legit. But yeah. He's gone, he's in the freezer, I held his dead body for a bit and caressed his ears and paws, I like to do that for some reason I also did this with my hamster after his sudden death. I think it's because of all the dead rats and mice from outside I had to clean up and rescue from my cat, so I used to also caress and feel their tails and fingers and faces, I love animals especially rodents and rodent-like creatures, but all animals though, I've also dealt with dead or sick birds from outdoors. I feel like it helps me grieve and face the reality of their death more when I do this...I never used to do that before I was terrified of dead bodies before and creeped out.
I'm sad but I'm also relieved that he's not suffering any more and having to deal with the cruelty of life. It's going to be an adjustment because he's not in my room anymore and I no longer have to worry about the lighting and temperature, or food, or the noise levels. I feel empty. But I'm glad I got the choice and time to prepare and say goodbye, of course he was a ball of spikes and wouldn't un-ball during my good-bye, but that's OK, he had just been gassed and woken up and was probably in a ton of pain. Poor thing...I'm never keeping animals after this, mostly because of my sanity and health and financial reasons, but I totally would if I was healthy, I would rescue them. But I am so against breeding and pet keeping now, after my experiences with a hamster and a hedgehog, I think people who breed them and keep them as pets and buy them are very selfish, no offense. These animals suffer so much, they are so prone to cancer and health issues because of inbreeding and bad breeding, all because selfish people want to have a cool pet. It's worse when people bother them all the time and pull them out from sleeping to "play" and "cuddle". And allergic people who dunk their hedgehogs in water everyday just so they can hold them and not get hives all over their hands, it's just such an extremely selfish thing to do that does nothing for the hedgehog except tortures them. Ah, sorry, I can't say this stuff on hedgehog or hamster groups, maybe I should and then just leave the group lol. Sorry for my misanthropic rant.
I still have a ton of methadone saved up from when I had carries. I have like 80+ bottles of 120mgs. I probably would still need an anti-emetic for that though. I don't know, but now I have nothing to stick around for. I have cats but they belong to my family as well, one of the cats I personally rescued so that one might be tough....but he's a tough cat and he has the love of my entire family and will never be alone again.
