My goodbye

[auti]

My name is Elizabeth. I'm 21 years old. And I'm going to fucking kill myself.

I feel so excited! I'm finally going home!

Let me not get too ahead of myself. I'm still waiting on a part of my method to come in the mail but it is expected by tomorrow. I've worked out most of the details. Tonight I will run a test for the scheduled email to ensure it runs smoothly. I will send one to the police office around 8ish hours after my attempt with my location so they can recover my body. I will be using a slightly remote wooded area which is important to me. After that I will schedule an email for my family with important information, but my note will be handwritten and left with my body. Tomorrow I will clean my room, shower, and do my makeup while I wait for my package. I saw someone say they wanted to do blue makeup to match the rest of their body and I think that is so cute so I will be stealing it >:3. My method is sn and I'll be taking 25g (I am just shy of 80 kg) along with 30mg metoclopramide, 50mg hydroxyzine, and 10mg oxycodone. I still need to pick up an antacid but I'll take double the listed amount for that. I'll prepare one spare drink in case I vomit. I had my last meal at around 2pm today so I'll be very ready. Are there any other details I am missing? I'll try to continue posting as I move through the process. Thank you to everyone who I've interacted with on this site, you've all been a blessing. This wouldn't have been possible without you guys!! :DD

 

[if_i_make_it]

good luck, I hope you find your peace Elizabeth

 

[Soumatou]

may you find peaceful rest

 

[flufflepuff]

goodluck! we'll be going around the same time with the same method. i hope we both can find peace :D

 

[Front Back]

Hope it's a smooth sail. Go find your peace, Elizabeth

 

[mars2027]

Have a safe journey, Elizabeth

 

[body_snatcher]

Good luck, I hope your journey is peaceful

 

[Matchaaa]

May you find your peace. Good luck, and have a safe journey, Elizabeth.

 

[Kanau_Nano]

i hope you find peace

 

[SASU-KE]

Notti Auti,your PFP always gave me a chuckle.You will be missed. See you on the other side.

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

Good luck and hope that what you find is better than what this world offered u

 

[darksouls]

love and peace to you, Elizabeth

 

[geepeedee]

good luck elizabeth. safe travels.

 

[auti]

I'll try to continue posting as I move through the process.

I was gonna factory reset my phone and then destroy it but I changed my mind. I've finished wiping most of the unnecessary stuff for now. I'll leave my messages, photos, etc for my family to look through.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Sad it had to come to this

 

[Aphid]

I hope you find peace.

 

[chudcell]

Im so sorry you are going through this. Best wishes on your journey to the other side

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck! I hope you find peace

 

[Kanoh]

You seem determined and relieved. No SI kicking in at all?

 

[auti]

You seem determined and relieved. No SI kicking in at all?

It comes and goes. Will probably be feeling it more when time actually comes. I was talking to my brother and it hit hard bc I hate to hurt him but it has to be done.

 

[auti]

Update: I am terrified and exhausted. So not much different than usual.

 

[HeyBoogahJr]

My name is Elizabeth. I'm 21 years old. And I'm going to fucking kill myself.

I feel so excited! I'm finally going home!

Let me not get too ahead of myself. I'm still waiting on a part of my method to come in the mail but it is expected by tomorrow. I've worked out most of the details. Tonight I will run a test for the scheduled email to ensure it runs smoothly. I will send one to the police office around 8ish hours after my attempt with my location so they can recover my body. I will be using a slightly remote wooded area which is important to me. After that I will schedule an email for my family with important information, but my note will be handwritten and left with my body. Tomorrow I will clean my room, shower, and do my makeup while I wait for my package. I saw someone say they wanted to do blue makeup to match the rest of their body and I think that is so cute so I will be stealing it >:3. My method is sn and I'll be taking 25mg (I am just shy of 80 kg) along with 30mg metoclopramide, 50mg hydroxyzine, and 10mg oxycodone. I still need to pick up an antacid but I'll take double the listed amount for that. I'll prepare one spare drink in case I vomit. I had my last meal at around 2pm today so I'll be very ready. Are there any other details I am missing? I'll try to continue posting as I move through the process. Thank you to everyone who I've interacted with on this site, you've all been a blessing. This wouldn't have been possible without you guys!! :DD

I hope your happy with the decision you have come to. I'm sorry that you've come to this point in life. I hope you enjoy your home.

The blue make is cute tho, fr fr.

 

[ForestGhost]

Hi, I just wanted to make sure you're aware that opioids are generally not recommended as part of the regimen because they slow gastric emptying and may induce nausea. They can effectively counteract the benefits of meto. If the analgesic effects are worth it for you and you're taking them with that risk in mind, that's fine of course.

Anxiety is understandable but if it's too much, just remember there's no shame in backing out and the rest of us will be here to support you.

 

[auti]

Hi, I just wanted to make sure you're aware that opioids are generally not recommended as part of the regimen because they slow gastric emptying and may induce nausea. They can effectively counteract the benefits of meto. If the analgesic effects are worth it for you and you're taking them with that risk in mind, that's fine of course.

Anxiety is understandable but if it's too much, just remember there's no shame in backing out and the rest of us will be here to support you.

Yeah I'm just hoping it's worth the trade off. I experimented a bit and I think it should be okay.

 

[Surek]

My method is sn and I'll be taking 25mg

I don't know if I need to point this out, but you need to take it in grams, not milligrams

 

[auti]

I don't know if I need to point this out, but you need to take it in grams, not milligrams

Ye that's what I meant lol shoulda checked before posting


I forgot how much fasting sucks damn I thought I'd be better off if I went for a long fast but I might break it now and start again. Realistically I don't need 24+ hours lolol

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

My name is Elizabeth. I'm 21 years old. And I'm going to fucking kill myself.

I feel so excited! I'm finally going home!

Let me not get too ahead of myself. I'm still waiting on a part of my method to come in the mail but it is expected by tomorrow. I've worked out most of the details. Tonight I will run a test for the scheduled email to ensure it runs smoothly. I will send one to the police office around 8ish hours after my attempt with my location so they can recover my body. I will be using a slightly remote wooded area which is important to me. After that I will schedule an email for my family with important information, but my note will be handwritten and left with my body. Tomorrow I will clean my room, shower, and do my makeup while I wait for my package. I saw someone say they wanted to do blue makeup to match the rest of their body and I think that is so cute so I will be stealing it >:3. My method is sn and I'll be taking 25g (I am just shy of 80 kg) along with 30mg metoclopramide, 50mg hydroxyzine, and 10mg oxycodone. I still need to pick up an antacid but I'll take double the listed amount for that. I'll prepare one spare drink in case I vomit. I had my last meal at around 2pm today so I'll be very ready. Are there any other details I am missing? I'll try to continue posting as I move through the process. Thank you to everyone who I've interacted with on this site, you've all been a blessing. This wouldn't have been possible without you guys!! :DD

I also think it's a great suggestion to use blue make-up to match the body, meaning, as I'm sure you know, the bluishness called cyanosis, due to insufficient oxygen reaching the blood.

I think it starts and is most prominent in the finger tips and on the nails, but also appears on the lips. Most females going for CTB or euthanasia talk about not only dressing in favorite dresses or skirts, but also about making up, particularly about doing their nails, as it gives them needed confidence to get though it and I understand that as something very feminine. But is it necessary to apply blue nail polish to bluish fingers nails, or blue lipstick to bluish lips, I wonder? Maybe just a touch of it, as doing nails and lips is fun anyway, or just gloss on the lips. For me, I adore the scent of solvent in nail lacquer when doing my nails, and get an urge to breath it in deeply.

Obviously, what is meant about matching blue color relates to eyebrow liner, eyelid color, eyeliner and mascara. When StrawberryPanic video recorded her CTB with SN, she showed her blue-tinged fingertips and nails to the camera with pride and a smile, as she knew she was very close to death then. At least you can relax in the knowledge of having arranged to be found while still looking pretty, and made up in appropriately matching blue colors. I haven't so far used blue make-up, but now I think I should for my CTB when the time comes.

With 25g SN you should have success and get your bluish color really quickly. I think StrawberryPanic must have ingested much less SN, so she was showing bluishness after around 20 minutes into her 30 minute journey, and she succeeded. You should be gone much earlier, limiting the period of suffering. She looked pretty right through, mostly relaxed, with her long hair let down over her shoulders, until the camera dropped as she became unconscious and died.

You are so young for CTB, but have at least reached adulthood when making the big decision. I admire your courage and good organization to ensure your journey goes just as planned, whatever drives you to it. Despite your measures to prevent or reduce vomiting, it's the right decision to take SN in two goes, in case some is lost by vomiting this essential substance. But I hope very much that you won't have any vomiting spoiling your journey. I am sure many people will miss you when you have gone, already tomorrow, it seems.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

May peace be upon you.

 

[Aflame5926]

have a good journey, let your soul get the rest its needs and deserve.

 

[chuckapalahniuk27]

good luck, i wish you peace and comfort.