Help my girlfriend will commit suicide at the end of the month

[4Das]

Im Not ready and in peace to kill myself yet but I'm thinking I should go with her, I don't think I can take the pain of losing her, I'm now terrified already I have never felt this horrible in my life.
idk how to even react or what to say, I just don't think I can take the pain of losing her she's my everything I can't live without her and I really don't know what to do, can anyone give me some advice? I can't even think clear and I need help
please someone help me please

 

[enso]

Hi!

Why would she do this at the end of the month? If she has taken time to not to do it right now, how do you think/feel, can she change her mind? Why would she take some time and tell you about it? Maybe she has no one else to share it with, so she wants your help? Can it be that?

Can you meet her in person? Does she trust you, in case if you would try to get psychiatrist's help for her?

 

[AgathaChristieLover]

I know people on this forum talk big game about "Everyone has the right to end their own life" but there's a chance your girlfriend is in some sort of psychosis or mental health crisis that impairs her thinking. Please try to get her help

 

[4Das]

Hi!

Why would she do this at the end of the month? If she has taken time to not to do it right now, how do you think/feel, can she change her mind? Why would she take some time and tell you about it? Maybe she has no one else to share it with, so she wants your help? Can it be that?

Can you meet her in person? Does she trust you, in case if you would try to get psychiatrist's help for her

she has been suicidal for a long time and j tried to get her to get help but she refuses everytime and gets mad, I'm still trying, I'm trying to do it as gentle as possible but she still gets mad at me and refuses, she would never get help.
I met her in person a lot of times tho it's hard currently and she lives in another country so I can't really do that sadly.
she is 100% sure about her decision to end her life at the end of the month, I tried but there's no way of bringing her to do otherwise, as I expressed how scared I am of losing her she was like I'm guilt tripping her or something even tho that's not my intention even, we have talked about suicide together alot of times and I do have the chance to join her
I wouldn't kill myself now if this wasn't the case but I really can't lose her, I can't bear this type of pain it's not possible.

I know people on this forum talk big game about "Everyone has the right to end their own life" but there's a chance your girlfriend is in some sort of psychosis or mental health crisis that which her thinking. Please try to get her help

I tried to bring her to get help but I can't force her, she also lives in another country and it's not easy to meet so i can't even give her support irl sadly...
she's 100% sure about her decision, now was of changing her mind Im also trying to get her to get help, even before she really had this plan but she always refuses or even gets mad no matter how gentle I am with it, she would never get help.
I'm still trying but the situation seems hopeless, I just can't lose her so Im thinking maybe I should go with her as we have talked about suicide together many times before

 

[enso]

she has been suicidal for a long time and j tried to get her to get help but she refuses everytime and gets mad, I'm still trying, I'm trying to do it as gentle as possible but she still gets mad at me and refuses, she would never get help.
I met her in person a lot of times tho it's hard currently and she lives in another country so I can't really do that sadly.
she is 100% sure about her decision to end her life at the end of the month, I tried but there's no way of bringing her to do otherwise, as I expressed how scared I am of losing her she was like I'm guilt tripping her or something even tho that's not my intention even, we have talked about suicide together alot of times and I do have the chance to join her
I wouldn't kill myself now if this wasn't the case but I really can't lose her, I can't bear this type of pain it's not possible.

Thank you for detailed response!

First of all, considering all your words, you already have done everything from your side to help her. You really done well. She also need to have some inner desire to not do this. With only your efforts it will be harder.

It seems like she is in very big struggle right now. Did you ask her, why would she say that information to you without possibility to change her mind? Why does she get mad when you try to talk about it? What does she really want to do? Do you have understanding, what is the reason for this suicidal thoughts? Did she talk about it?

Do you have contacts of her relatives, who can be physically assist her, look after her?

 

[4Das]

Thank you for detailed response!

First of all, considering all your words, you already have done everything from your side to help her. You really done well. She also need to have some inner desire to not do this. With only your efforts it will be harder.

It seems like she is in very big struggle right now. Did you ask her, why would she say that information to you without possibility to change her mind? Why does she get mad when you try to talk about it? What does she really want to do? Do you have understanding, what is the reason for this suicidal thoughts? Did she talk about it?

Do you have contacts of her relatives, who can be physically assist her, look after her?

she gave me the information because I asked her to tell me before she does it so I don't randomly lose her so that's kinda my fault, she connects help to mental hospital that's why she gets upset when I mention help even when I phrase it differently, she wants to overdose idk on what tho, she's depressed, she was in an abusive home, she also has adjustment disorder, an eating disorder, she hates herself and her life is just horrible.
we both kinda met when we were already suicidal and often fantasized about doing it together
I can't contact her relatives as she hates them all, especially I can't contact her parents because they're the one that abused her like this.
I just feel so hopeless, I think I have to kill myself
that is no problem but I just feel so guilty for leaving my mom behind, she will be in such immense pain she will blame herself for that.
idk I feel so so guilty the guilt is eating me alive

 

[enso]

she gave me the information because I asked her to tell me before she does it so I don't randomly lose her so that's kinda my fault, she connects help to mental hospital that's why she gets upset when I mention help even when I phrase it differently, she wants to overdose idk on what tho, she's depressed, she was in an abusive home, she also has adjustment disorder, an eating disorder, she hates herself and her life is just horrible.
we both kinda met when we were already suicidal and often fantasized about doing it together
I can't contact her relatives as she hates them all, especially I can't contact her parents because they're the one that abused her like this.
I just feel so hopeless, I think I have to kill myself
that is no problem but I just feel so guilty for leaving my mom behind, she will be in such immense pain she will blame herself for that.
idk I feel so so guilty the guilt is eating me alive

You are not responsible for someone's actions. Why do you feel guilty? You aren't almighty, no one is. You can't make her love life or find reasons to want to live it. You can be there for her, talk to her, try to direct her towards getting specialist's help (as you already do). You said that you were suicidal too, but now you are not. It seems like you've done a lot of work to release a lot of inner tension, don't you?

But how can you help her additionally? How do you think, is it really possible?

And again, coming to guilt, do you understand that she doesn't feel guilt, if she tells you such information, repeats it and get mad if you want to change her mind?
It is really painful, and it sounds even more painful - but can you make her live if she doesn't want to and rejects any help? What is your responsibility here?

 

[Aflame5926]

idk everything about this sounds a bit rushed for you.

i understand you won't have problems but since you are not living together its a bit different.
i think this is kinda a situations where there is no good outcome to be honest.

call the cops = end relationship and she will go in the future
go with her = getting guilt tripping for going
let her go = getting guilt tripping for not going

option ??
she doesnt stick to it. less likely when i hear that talking about it.
i dont think there is any wise answer for it.

my 2 cents is basicly saying letting her go even through that hurts a lot.
if your time is not there then you shouldnt do it. that my honest opinion about this shitty mess

big hugs to you

 

[4Das]

You are not responsible for someone's actions. Why do you feel guilty? You aren't almighty, no one is. You can't make her love life or find reasons to want to live it. You can be there for her, talk to her, try to direct her towards getting specialist's help (as you already do). You said that you were suicidal too, but now you are not. It seems like you've done a lot of work to release a lot of inner tension, don't you?

But how can you help her additionally? How do you think, is it really possible?

And again, coming to guilt, do you understand that she doesn't feel guilt, if she tells you such information, repeats it and get mad if you want to change her mind?
It is really painful, and it sounds even more painful - but can you make her live if she doesn't want to and rejects any help? What is your responsibility here?

I meant for the guilty part that I feel guilty for leaving my mom behind, I am planning to committ suicide this year.
I just didn't want to do it now yet, I do want to kill myself tho as I don't want to live anymore.
life is horrible, I just feel bad because I know how much I will hurt my mom with my suicide.

I can't really help my girlfriend, I can only go with her to minimise my own pain

idk everything about this sounds a bit rushed for you.

i understand you won't have problems but since you are not living together its a bit different.
i think this is kinda a situations where there is no good outcome to be honest.

call the cops = end relationship and she will go in the future
go with her = getting guilt tripping for going
let her go = getting guilt tripping for not going

option ??
she doesnt stick to it. less likely when i hear that talking about it.
i dont think there is any wise answer for it.

my 2 cents is basicly saying letting her go even through that hurts a lot.
if your time is not there then you shouldnt do it. that my honest opinion about this shitty mess

big hugs to you

I would have attempted in the next years anyway that's why I thought it will be a good choice
I just don't feel in peace with dying yet even tho I really don't want to live anymore, I'm severely depressed and autistic and all I do is suffer.
I just don't know how I'm gonna bear the pain of losing her you know?? I really don't know how I'm supposed to live without her and Im horrified