My future SN suicide : all my questions/history here

[Defenestration]

hello, I decided to create my "official"topic for all my story and my questions on the sn ...
rather than polluting the forum with 10 different topics ... It will also do me good to speak

if this topic disturbs, moderators can delete it
sorry if it's too self-centered

 

[WornOutLife]

Feel free to write as much as you want. I'll be here to read you and provide as much advice as I can.

(SN is my picked method too)

 

[Symbiote]

Survivor of SN here who is also planning to do SN again when the time comes.

 

[Defenestration]

I have a lot of diagnosed disorders: social phobia, performance anxiety+++/impostor syndrom, bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder,
I will see a new next week specialist to confirm post traumatic stress disorder... i have little eating disorder.

I have been under the care of psychiatrists for a long time (since 2008)and take a lot of medication/change medication lot of
currently sertaline,quetiapine,carbamazepine,seresta,

I am tired of fighting against all these disorders ... the time psychiatrists, therapies, drugs have not solved anything.

I am a caregiver with the elderly, theoretically I love my job, but there is a lot of pressure, not enough time to take care of people properly ... it worries me a lot to see people all day.




questions in vac

1)-I'm afraid of not being able to dissolve everything correctly, that it remains on the edges of the glass or at the bottom or all small lumps ...
if there are any tiny pieces left, should you lick and take what is left on the glass? it must be dissolved 100/100 I suppose ... what is the color that we must obtain, transparent or a little white? I don't have a mixer like on the video of doctor philippe n.
if we don't drink immediately it settles down again? problematic if we prepare 2 glasses to drink the 2nd (if we vomit the first)?

2)
50 ml of water seems very little for dissolve 25 g of sn + 10 * 40mg of propanolol(400 mg)
if I put more water (100 ml) less chance of working or no difference?

I will take 400 mg of propanolol 1 hour before sn (can i swallow this 10*400 mg with water)? ... to arrive in all at 800 mg(400 with sn 400 before) ... and so that the pronolol will have time to take effecagainst tacchychardia.

 

[NodusTollens]

—hugs— Sorry to hear that life has become so overwhelming for you. It's sad to hear that you've put the effort in & still don't feel like you're receiving the fruits of your labour- I imagine this feel disheartening for you.

Sounds like you have a big heart & you should be commended for the work you do with the elderly. Also, I can appreciate the level of support you wish to offer your clients, & the limitations of social services. I know a few social service workers & they often express burnout bc of the amount of work they're asked to do, versus the support they receive to do their jobs effectively.

 

[Defenestration]

another question about the medications: I take quetiapine 400 mg before going to sleep and I have read that no need for an antiemetic as I take quetiapine ... or in the evening I take a double dose of quetiapine 2 * 400 mg ??? I nevertheless prefer to ensure the blow by taking meto

 

[Benzos kill]

Survivor of SN here who is also planning to do SN again when the time comes.

How did you survive sn?

 

[Symbiote]

How did you survive sn?

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/survived-my-sn-last-june.52780/

 

[lucacaro]

1)-I'm afraid of not being able to dissolve everything correctly, that it remains on the edges of the glass or at the bottom or all small lumps ...
if there are any tiny pieces left, should you lick and take what is left on the glass? it must be dissolved 100/100 I suppose ... what is the color that we must obtain, transparent or a little white? I don't have a mixer like on the video of doctor philippe n.
if we don't drink immediately it settles down again? problematic if we prepare 2 glasses to drink the 2nd (if we vomit the first)?

2)
50 ml of water seems very little for dissolve 25 g of sn + 10 * 40mg of propanolol(400 mg)
if I put more water (100 ml) less chance of working or no difference?

I will take 400 mg of propanolol 1 hour before sn (can i swallow this 10*400 mg with water)? ... to arrive in all at 800 mg(400 with sn 400 before) ... and so that the pronolol will have time to take effecagainst tacchychardia.

I made the SN mixture the other day (though 20 grams rather than 25) and trust me it does dissolve. It did take me a moment of stirring for sure but it stops being cloudy after a minute or two. There was some small bits of dried sn/water on the side from stirring but I think you'll be fine without licking that.
The color for me was... vaguely yellow? You could almost hardly tell it wasn't just water. There was some floaty bits on the top but I'm sure it doesn't matter.
If you vomit up the first dose it has been recommended to try a second one. Or if the first one stays down and your stomach settles then you can also try a second dose. (might make you vomit if you didn't the first time)

I'm not 100% sure on this but I think you would only need to take the propanolol before right? If you need a little bit of water to get it down that's fine. Try to use as little as possible though.

 

[Defenestration]

I just tried to dissolve a single tablet of propanolol in the bottom of a glass of water ... it's hard the tablet does not break easily ... or then you have to break it before and put it in water afterwards ... it's full of small debris ... so it will be impossible with several tablets ... we can not swallow the tablets with water rather than dissolving them? swallow and just after take the sn

I made the SN mixture the other day (though 20 grams rather than 25) and trust me it does dissolve. It did take me a moment of stirring for sure but it stops being cloudy after a minute or two. There was some small bits of dried sn/water on the side from stirring but I think you'll be fine without licking that.
The color for me was... vaguely yellow? You could almost hardly tell it wasn't just water. There was some floaty bits on the top but I'm sure it doesn't matter.
If you vomit up the first dose it has been recommended to try a second one. Or if the first one stays down and your stomach settles then you can also try a second dose. (might make you vomit if you didn't the first time)

I'm not 100% sure on this but I think you would only need to take the propanolol before right? If you need a little bit of water to get it down that's fine. Try to use as little as possible though.

ok thanks...to dissolve sn ok but 10 tablets of propanolol its hard....
i will take tables of propanolol with water...


the main product remains the sn...read on stan guide.

why do I read everywhere that we must try not to take a lot of water? besides, I bought cimetidine and it's effervescent so I'm going to need some water

 

[lucacaro]

I just tried to dissolve a single tablet of propanolol in the bottom of a glass of water ... it's hard the tablet does not break easily ... or then you have to break it before and put it in water afterwards ... it's full of small debris ... so it will be impossible with several tablets ... we can not swallow the tablets with water rather than dissolving them? swallow and just after take the sn

ok thanks...to dissolve sn ok but 10 tablets of propanolol its hard....
i will take tables of propanolol with water..

why do I read everywhere that we must try not to take a lot of water? besides, I bought cimetidine and it's effervescent so I'm going to need some water

I looked at the dose portion of stan's guide and I don't really see where it mentions when you should take the propanolol but I'd assume you should take it before so it has time to get in your system and actually prevent the tachycardia symptom.

You can swallow your pills dry or use some water if you need to beforehand. It's not like some sin to have some extra water lol, it would be fine. And if you really need to you could add a small amount of water to your SN mixture if you really cant get it to mix completely.

I think the small amount of water is to try and keep you as empty as possible of other things so you're mostly just full of SN and it can do its job.

 

[lost_soul83]

Survivor of SN here who is also planning to do SN again when the time comes.

May I ask how you survived taking SN? And why are you choosing that method again?

 

[Symbiote]

May I ask how you survived taking SN? And why are you choosing that method again?

It's in this thread below here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/survived-my-sn-last-june.52780/

It's reliable, I just needed more time to not be found.

 

[Defenestration]

my plan :
male,33 years: 6'03 and 134 l : 1m 84, 61 kg.

I ame taking medication : 150 mg sertraline,400mg carbamazepine,400 mg quetiapine,,seresta 40 mg


I finally managed to find all the ingredients: SN 99/100;propanolol;cimetidine;metoclopramide


-a few days before i test 40 mg propanolol to see how my body support this.
(I don't want to faint when I take the 5 * 40 mg of propanolol before I can take any sn!)

-Day 1 I eat and drink normally,without excess.
6h 3* 10 mg metoclopramide (30 mg) (i dont eat the morning)
14 h 3* 10 mg metoclopramide (30 mg) before eat.
23 h 3* 10 mg metoclopramide (30 mg) before sleep after eat

-Day 2 final:

-24 hours fasting ( 23 h day1 to 23h day2):
I do not eat anything at all and I also do not drink anything all day ,except to take water for the medicines

times are approximate

-22:30 h : 03 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg)
with
3* 200 mg cimetidine(600 mg ) effervescent in water.

-22 h 45s 05 X 40mg Propranolol (200mg) with little water...
-23:00hr 1 g paracetamol with little water
-23 h 30 * 40mg propanolol (600 mg) with water
-23h 30: 25g sn dissolved in 50 ml water

i I lie in my bed with music

-2nd glass and 3rd prepared glass next to my bed...if I vomit...

-if I vomit immediately after I re-drink a drink without waiting to pass out ...

-normally between midnight and 10 h , i will be alone at home without
phone call, I live alone ... great minimum 10 hours before being found...


your advices please???

 

[WornOutLife]

my plan :
male,33 years: 6'03 and 134 l : 1m 84, 61 kg.

I ame taking medication : 150 mg sertraline,400mg carbamazepine,400 mg quetiapine,,seresta 40 mg


I finally managed to find all the ingredients: SN 99/100;propanolol;cimetidine;metoclopramide


-a few days before i test 40 mg propanolol to see how my body support this.
(I don't want to faint when I take the 5 * 40 mg of propanolol before I can take any sn!)

-Day 1 I eat and drink normally,without excess.
6h 3* 10 mg metoclopramide (30 mg) (i dont eat the morning)
14 h 3* 10 mg metoclopramide (30 mg) before eat.
23 h 3* 10 mg metoclopramide (30 mg) before sleep after eat

-Day 2 final:

-24 hours fasting ( 23 h day1 to 23h day2):
I do not eat anything at all and I also do not drink anything all day ,except to take water for the medicines

times are approximate

-22:30 h : 03 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg)
with
3* 200 mg cimetidine(600 mg ) effervescent in water.

-22 h 45s 05 X 40mg Propranolol (200mg) with little water...
-23:00hr 1 g paracetamol with little water
-23 h 30 * 40mg propanolol (600 mg) with water
-23h 30: 25g sn dissolved in 50 ml water

i I lie in my bed with music

-2nd glass and 3rd prepared glass next to my bed...if I vomit...

-if I vomit immediately after I re-drink a drink without waiting to pass out ...

-normally between midnight and 10 h , i will be alone at home without
phone call, I live alone ... great minimum 10 hours before being found...


your advices please???

You clearly know much more than me about this method. I think it's okay although I'm no expert.

I'll read some more about SN before doing it. I'm really doubting about ctb.

Anyway, hope you can be at peace bro.

Btw, I'm also 33!

 

[Defenestration]

@Jumper Geo
My master of sn ;)

 

[lost_soul83]

It's in this thread below here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/survived-my-sn-last-june.52780/

It's reliable, I just needed more time to not be found.

I'm really sorry you had to go through that. If you choose to try and ctb again, I hope it works out this time and you finally find peace.