My friend ctb tonight

[Butterfly-death]

My heart is aching. My head hurts. I feel sick. I met him off this site about almost two months ago user @boyafraid. We spent time together in person mutiple times. He supported me through everything. Made me feel less alone. We had similar interests, simlar issues, and a similar mindset. We felt like we have known each other since forever even if it wasn't that long. We didn't ctb together because of what if one of us survived and he met my family and said it just didn't feel right to ctb together. I'm sure he is dead by now; he planned it out so well. I'm happy he won't suffer anymore but damn it hurts so bad. I want to join him in death but I don't have a method right now. Why does the universe hate me so much? He was the only one who made me feel loved. Saw me as a good person despite bad things I have done. Now he is gone. I will never see, talk to, or experience anything with him again in this lifetime. I will never find anyone like that again. Not here. Not anywhere. I can't believe I met him here someone so close to my age and in my city. But now he is gone forever. And all I can do is cry and beg death to take me with him. This life is so cruel and unfair.

So grief and loss are another reason to ctb added on to my list.

 

[Iamspace]

My heart is aching. My head hurts. I feel sick. I met him off this site about almost two months ago user @boyafraid. We spent time together in person mutiple times. He supported me through everything. Made me feel less alone. We had similar interests, simlar issues, and a similar mindset. We felt like we have known each other since forever even if it wasn't that long. We didn't ctb together because of what if one of us survived and he met my family and said it just didn't feel right to ctb together. I'm sure he is dead by now; he planned it out so well. I'm happy he won't suffer anymore but damn it hurts so bad. I want to join him in death but I don't have a method right now. Why does the universe hate me so much? He was the only one who made me feel loved. Saw me as a good person despite bad things I have done. Now he is gone. I will never see, talk to, or experience anything with him again in this lifetime. I will never find anyone like that again. Not here. Not anywhere. I can't believe I met him here someone so close to my age and in my city. But now he is gone forever. And all I can do is cry and beg death to take me with him. This life is so cruel and unfair.

So grief and loss are another reason to ctb added on to my list.

I'm genuinely so sorry. I know the feeling it's the worse when you know they wanted to do it but you still miss them. Rest in peace to your friend :(

 

[Raindancer]

I am so sorry for your loss. Hold him in your heart, treasure the memories. I pray your friend is in peace Rest easy.

 

[sanctionedusage]

I seriously can't imagine your pain. I looked through his post activity and he was obviously an extremely kind person. I'm so sorry life wasn't equally kind in turn. It's like some people are born to show others the affection and care they themselves struggled to get. You were taken from each other too soon.. I hope he's watching over you.

 

[wine is fine but]

i am so sorry for you
this place is meant to be a place where we can escape our pain, but then this happens and your pain becomes more unbearable

 

[Kanau_Nano]

This is so crushing. It seems like so many lovely people ctb and it's so sad. I hope you can get some good support to help cope with this. I will be wishing you the best

 

[SASU-KE]

This is especially brutal.The next few weeks are going to be even more difficult than they usually are.The memories will haunt you constantly. You'll find yourself stopping in the middle of things you do during the day to think about him. The pain will gradually subside.

I have an idea of what you're going through right now. I too have had close friends who have passed away from ctb. Mourn and grieve him. He deserves that.

I hope you heal slowly, not just from his loss, but from the other ills that you face in life.