lastbite
New Member
- Apr 14, 2019
- 3
Hello friends.
I've lurked here for some time, gathering info about different methods and techniques, reading all of your stories and tales of suffering, and I've found this place to be a true resource and a place of comfort.
I want to thank all of you--though we haven't met personally--for sharing yourselves with the world. It's because of you that I find a sort of relief in knowing I'm at least not alone in this struggle. You are all beautiful people, and I you find the peace you deserve in whatever way it comes.
Peace is all I'm after at this point. I have a range of psychological conditions that have taken most of the joy and energy out of me. I'm just tired of fighting, tired of waking up in the morning and wishing I could fall back asleep forever. I'm sure you all know that feeling too well.
I really should have been dead as of three hours ago. I experimented with partial hanging for a few days, practicing every night until I found the right position and such. This morning I decided it was time. It took half an hour of fighting my SI to finally do it, but I finally dropped to my knees and passed out. The next thing I knew I was convulsing on the floor, limbs paralyzed and flailing. The rope I configured out of a sock had snapped, despite having tested it for durability several times.
I got up and made some coffee. It's comical how easy it is to die, and how difficult it can be at the same time.
My plan now is to buy a tent, head for the nearest campgrounds, and dehydrate myself to death out in nature. I'll try to enjoy my last few days in a peaceful setting, as much as possible, though I realize the discomfort will be intense.
VSED is not recommended on this board, I'm aware. It just seems like an assured death to me. Advice and criticism is all welcome.
You're made of stardust, don't forget it. Thank you for reading.
I've lurked here for some time, gathering info about different methods and techniques, reading all of your stories and tales of suffering, and I've found this place to be a true resource and a place of comfort.
I want to thank all of you--though we haven't met personally--for sharing yourselves with the world. It's because of you that I find a sort of relief in knowing I'm at least not alone in this struggle. You are all beautiful people, and I you find the peace you deserve in whatever way it comes.
Peace is all I'm after at this point. I have a range of psychological conditions that have taken most of the joy and energy out of me. I'm just tired of fighting, tired of waking up in the morning and wishing I could fall back asleep forever. I'm sure you all know that feeling too well.
I really should have been dead as of three hours ago. I experimented with partial hanging for a few days, practicing every night until I found the right position and such. This morning I decided it was time. It took half an hour of fighting my SI to finally do it, but I finally dropped to my knees and passed out. The next thing I knew I was convulsing on the floor, limbs paralyzed and flailing. The rope I configured out of a sock had snapped, despite having tested it for durability several times.
I got up and made some coffee. It's comical how easy it is to die, and how difficult it can be at the same time.
My plan now is to buy a tent, head for the nearest campgrounds, and dehydrate myself to death out in nature. I'll try to enjoy my last few days in a peaceful setting, as much as possible, though I realize the discomfort will be intense.
VSED is not recommended on this board, I'm aware. It just seems like an assured death to me. Advice and criticism is all welcome.
You're made of stardust, don't forget it. Thank you for reading.
