nosurpries
Member
- Jul 3, 2022
- 97
this is it, today has offically put me right over the edge and this time i don't think anyone can pull me from the edge. im going to order sn soon and i am going to go through with it.
anxiety from the moment i woke up, spent the day in agony i can't take it anymore. every fucking day is the same, everyday is pain i genuinely can't do it anymore. i've i'm offically done giving signs like some scared child crying out for help, nobody gives a fuck. all i want is empathy, all i want is just a little understanding. i'm fucking sick of rehashing all my mistakes and wrong doings, there is no healing for me, there is nothing that will ever help.
the only thing i worry about is my father. i don't want to do notes but i think i have to, i have to leave hime something. but it won't even help i don't think because he will blame himself no matter what, but i swear to god he is the only person who has ever truly been there for me, and i feel horrible i have to leave him. he also struggles with mental health, less severe than me and takes meds, but still i have guilt. but other than that, i have no one. i don't have a single friend, no partner, nothing.
i have no future. i have nothing to look forward to. i had something i enjoyed doing but now that is gone and i feel completely outcasted from everything. maybe this is just a nudge from the universe telling me that nobody fucking wants me around and i should stop being so fucking dense and take the hint. i'm 18 and female, physically this is my peak and then it's all downhill.
i'm sick of the anxiety, i'm sick of being sad, i'm sick of hating myself, i'm sick of living with the dread. i'm ready for it to be over with. i thought i had longer, i planned my cbt to be october/november but with how things have been going i may not last until the end of this month.
anxiety from the moment i woke up, spent the day in agony i can't take it anymore. every fucking day is the same, everyday is pain i genuinely can't do it anymore. i've i'm offically done giving signs like some scared child crying out for help, nobody gives a fuck. all i want is empathy, all i want is just a little understanding. i'm fucking sick of rehashing all my mistakes and wrong doings, there is no healing for me, there is nothing that will ever help.
the only thing i worry about is my father. i don't want to do notes but i think i have to, i have to leave hime something. but it won't even help i don't think because he will blame himself no matter what, but i swear to god he is the only person who has ever truly been there for me, and i feel horrible i have to leave him. he also struggles with mental health, less severe than me and takes meds, but still i have guilt. but other than that, i have no one. i don't have a single friend, no partner, nothing.
i have no future. i have nothing to look forward to. i had something i enjoyed doing but now that is gone and i feel completely outcasted from everything. maybe this is just a nudge from the universe telling me that nobody fucking wants me around and i should stop being so fucking dense and take the hint. i'm 18 and female, physically this is my peak and then it's all downhill.
i'm sick of the anxiety, i'm sick of being sad, i'm sick of hating myself, i'm sick of living with the dread. i'm ready for it to be over with. i thought i had longer, i planned my cbt to be october/november but with how things have been going i may not last until the end of this month.
