Venting my entire being is aching. I can't do this anymore. What is the final thing that made you decide to end it?

[anopenwound]

How can things be so horrible all the time, non stop?

I worked my ass off for my circumstances to get better. All I'm getting in exchange is... nothing. More loss. More grief. More staring at the horrors face first, with dead eyes, waiting around to die.

I don't wanna wait anymore, I just want this to end. I don't wanna be alive. I keep on thinking about things I don't want to. I just want this to stop. The pain is so unbearable. Every day is hell.

Why keep going? What's the point? What good am I doing?

I'm tired. God, help me, I'm so tired. I can't do this anymore.



I'm here facing the thing that is making me wanna end it and I have to wonder, what's yours? What did you go through?

 

[TheHolySword]

No final thing, no one last reason. A series of bad decisions and endless suffering and worse decisions and consuming depression. I simply just realized it was my time and I needed to go.

 

[anopenwound]

No final thing, no one last reason. A series of bad decisions and endless suffering and worse decisions and consuming depression. I simply just realized it was my time and I needed to go.

I hear you. It's neverending. I'm sorry your life brought you to this. I'm with you. Pretend I'm hugging you if you're ok with hugs. It's too much to bear. It's ok.

 

[TheHolySword]

I hear you. It's neverending. I'm sorry your life brought you to this. I'm with you. Pretend I'm hugging you if you're ok with hugs. It's too much to bear. It's ok.

I'm sorry your life brought you here too. I hope you can find peace from it all, whether it's in life or in death. We'll be here while you are.

 

[maniac116]

I have a severe pain disorder & every day is pain throughout my body of magnitude I can't describe. I take no meds for pain, as I've found none that help.
I also lost my throat to cancer & had a bilateral radical neck dissection to remove my throat. I have severe neck pain & spasms of the neck.
The thing about a pain disorder us that it takes away hope. I know that tomorrow I'll wake up in pain.
The weird thing is I'm not suicidal now! I don't have hope but don't want to ctb. I've met lots of very kind, empathetic people here & strangely, meeting others who somehow have it worse than me. I don't know where I get the strength but I keep on going one day at a time.

 

[nomoredolor]

I lost my best friend
I was given hope for the first time in years and then it was violently torn away from me
So sorry you're here.

All my love
Anna

 

[J&L383]

I have a severe pain disorder & every day is pain throughout my body of magnitude I can't describe. I take no meds for pain, as I've found none that help.
I also lost my throat to cancer & had a bilateral radical neck dissection to remove my throat. I have severe neck pain & spasms of the neck.
The thing about a pain disorder us that it takes away hope. I know that tomorrow I'll wake up in pain.
The weird thing is I'm not suicidal now! I don't have hope but don't want to ctb. I've met lots of very kind, empathetic people here & strangely, meeting others who somehow have it worse than me. I don't know where I get the strength but I keep on going one day at a time.

You are awesome

 

[Autumn_Stars]

1. I have bipolar and aggressive MS I have HPV from being assaulted 2. I lost my job, my car, and my house. 3. My possessions are all in storage and things have been broken and lost. I lost my real human bone collection. My BF has lost some of my stuff and has kept the proceeds from the sale of my car. 4. My friends and coworkers only talk to me on birthdays and Christmas 5. I have severe cognitive defects. 6. I haven't been able to experience sexual pleasure of any kind for four years. The best the dr could do was to tell me to masturbate.

I'm the reason euthanasia exists. I deserve dignity and peace. With Trump in office I know I don't have a prayer. And it is wrong. It's inhumane.

 

[bananaolympus]

For me is a domino effect a series of bad decisions since my early teens, at the end it catches to you

 

[BlockHammer]

Well, for me. I tried to improve myself by learning new skills so i can get a job that's not oversaturated at my country, if my effort doesn't get any result at all. That's it, im gonna ctb

P.s: i had my suicidal ideation cause by a lot of rejection in a job place, eversince im graduating at colleage, i naver had any luck of finding a job and starting from there it's just a bad domino effect

 

[Catchingdabus27]

Nothing specfic more so a build up of shit from different health things. Then revelations about my quality of life. Feeling more relief when I think about dying vs living. It just gets to a point and ig I've been at this piint often but that also ends up wearing me down.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to be free from this cruel, torturous existence, all I personally hope for is to never suffer ever again, I understand finding it painful to exist, I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what than suffer all for the sake of it just waiting to die anyway, for me existence itself on it's own is enough to make me wish for death, I'd never wish to be conscious in this existence I always saw as the most terrible, tragic mistake. I personally find it deeply undesirable to exist in every way possible, I just want peace instead of suffering in this reality where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

No matter what I'll always and only wish for non-existence, I see existence itself as the true problem that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for, for me existence could never be worth it and I find it a terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all, I just want to never exist ever again, if it's up to me I'd choose to permanently erase my existence but of course the suffering just continues and the thought of suffering in this existence just to die tortured by old age is so horrific to me, I hope you find peace from suffering.