Cheshirecatx
Curiouser and Curiouser
- May 10, 2019
- 115
So, life for me took a spiral. Due to MH, I left my job ruined my career and lost all friendships. Pretty much destroyed my entire life. Nothing to go back to. Previously had SN taken off me...I got more and hid it. They tried to take it but I wouldn't tell them where it was so they couldn't do anything. By them, I mean the mental health team. In a dilemma now, I only have a couple of days where I can get away with doing something.
I plan on either full suspension by standing on my bed ledge by my closet, or taking SN somewhere out of area (too well known for Ctb attempts where I live).
only issue is, I can't get any AE. I can get an antacid easily, my family have loads and strong pain relief. I want to risk it, but if I do it without AE I fear I won't stomach it, I also can't accurately measure the amount as I don't have any scales so sounds like a recipe for disaster.
suspension I risk failing due to family being home and the door being quite small.
thought things were better but they aren't. I guess I'm looking for opinions? I should probably be less impulsive but can't risk being detained again and my CPN is now off until Tuesday. I won't last until then at this rate. What do I do? I'm so intent on it but the fear of waking up in the ICU and surviving is what is worrying me.
(not a goodbye post!)
I plan on either full suspension by standing on my bed ledge by my closet, or taking SN somewhere out of area (too well known for Ctb attempts where I live).
only issue is, I can't get any AE. I can get an antacid easily, my family have loads and strong pain relief. I want to risk it, but if I do it without AE I fear I won't stomach it, I also can't accurately measure the amount as I don't have any scales so sounds like a recipe for disaster.
suspension I risk failing due to family being home and the door being quite small.
thought things were better but they aren't. I guess I'm looking for opinions? I should probably be less impulsive but can't risk being detained again and my CPN is now off until Tuesday. I won't last until then at this rate. What do I do? I'm so intent on it but the fear of waking up in the ICU and surviving is what is worrying me.
(not a goodbye post!)
