My ctb plan

[fox_wannabe]

I am going to clean house. Make a suicide note, walk deep into forest in the evening and find a secluded spot (I know some good places) and use trashcan I bring with me to do full suspension. I am not gonna make delayed message about my ctb and will family just enter into my house when they start being worried and they will find a note. They will start to look for body but I might not get find or will be found when my corpses start rotting. And It will involve police, and not my father thus I will spare them view of my body.

By not telling anybody I hope It will show them that their life can go peacefully without me, It will take probably close to a week before they find out or start suspecting anything. I am literally fucking useless and a burden for them and myself here

 

[Snake of Eden]

We chatted few times and I really like you and how you express yourself. You are very smart and kind and I can sense vulnerability in your voice when we spoke once and it is admirable. I really hope you are choosing to do this in the best clarity of mind. I would hate to see you go but if you must then I wish you find peace either in this realm or another

 

[FuneralCry]

I also want to ctb in nature. I like the sound of it. I wish you the best with your plans and I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[fox_wannabe]

We chatted few times and I really like you and how you express yourself. You are very smart and kind and I can sense vulnerability in your voice when we spoke once and it is admirable. I really hope you are choosing to do this in the best clarity of mind. I would hate to see you go but if you must then I wish you find peace either in this realm or another

Thanks, I am indeed really lost and need to talk. I am stuck in one place in a downward spiral that started couple years ago, or maybe even when I was born.

It all depends upon my mood and how do I feel atm. My brain just doesn't make right chemicals. Too low drive, bad mood. Sometimes I do have hope, but later I crash down and want to die. Than I discover I cannot stay at this level forever and I will always go down. I have depression with hypomania episodes. I sometimes believe I can do anything, and than I fall on my face. It goes up and down like that for about 2 years and I am honestly very tired.

I just have to accept I cannot achieve all of the things I wanted to. But tbh now I want to give myself the highest good- peace and eternal one. It is religious suicide in a part. Because I have seen that nothing here will satisfy me, and I need to desire something to stay here, but I learnt that desiring is hurtful, and it is much better not to desire anything, but life without goals is empty and meaningless. Goals are empty and meaningless to but with goals It looks full and satisfying.

I have put myself in this mess I am right now. Instead of being hurt animal and just suffer I asked why. And when I found out there is no why It was too much for me to handle. The meaningless suffering was too much for any belief structure to be held. It killed me. I died many, many times.

Sorry for venting I needed to express it.

 

[forgotten15]

I wish you to find peace no matter what you will choose to do.

 

[Ash]

I hope you find the peace you're looking for x

 

[fox_wannabe]

Chill guys It is not goodbye thread
If I make one It means it is time to wish me peace hahaha

 

[meioalguem]

do u have a date in mind?

 

[fox_wannabe]

do u have a date in mind?

Not really... Why do you ask?