My Breathing Machine: Escaping reality

[Ilpiccoloskywalker]

Without my computers, movies, games, books i would be extremely desperate.
At this point i only go out to go to work that's it.
And even at work, while i do my coding i fantasize and dream, and i google about trips i will never do.
I often fantasize that my life will be somewhat meaningfull for myself and for other people.
I started ignoring reality completely.
I spend 95% of my waking time on a computer screen, alone, no one talks to me, luckily i can still do that, but if i were to loose that i would cry out of pain.
Whenever i spend some time out with people i get reminded how boring, stupid, coward.
People deal with me either like i'm a looser or like i'm a child-minded person and they have to try and help me(e.g. my parents but thats' normal isn't it)
So i prefer to ignore every fucking one.
I only feel human watching anime and shit.
No wonder one thinks about ctbing every day.
And it's not even worth expressing this pain to people, they don't listen to me, like i'm kind of a mad problematic person.

 

[MysticPerception]

I used to be the exact same so I understand what you're feeling. Escapism was and still is my only way to deal with thoughts of ctbing every day. Every day I'm at work I think about being somewhere else. Doing something on my computer, thinking about some game, thinking about some anime or going on some adventure that will never happen. I get it, really I do. All I can say is hang in there you're not alone. If those people don't listen, then they aren't worth your time anyway.

 

[listeningpost1379]

I am the same. There was, however, a summer some years back when I came back to my parents' place and for a few reasons had no access to computers, consoles, books and smartphones. I spent all those months literally just listening to the rain outside and writing scenarios, it was very lovely and not desperate at all. So I know I can live without those things, and I would still avoid responsibilities and try to escape from reality even if there was nothing to distract me. I suspect that this would be true for you too so don't think of yourself as reliant on devices just yet. I consider this quality a gift, just not one that's appreciated in today's society (depending on how privileged you are).