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SadGirl

SadGirl

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2019
467
Tomorrow is my birthday, 10/05, I will be 22 years old. I'm really depressed. and i'm thinking about ctb, but i'm not doing it for my mother, i just can't abandon her. I just made a gallows, I don't know why, since even if I want to, I can't ctb now. But my method is, take a good amount of benzodiazepines, and alcohol, and hang myself. But I don't know where to hang myself, obviously it won't be at home, I don't want my mother to find my body hanging from a rope. Any tips where I can do this, and be found?
 
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D

deletednumber

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,603
I know very well this feeling before birthdays.I hated my last birthdays, spent alone and in the darkest depression. very sad. What if you took a room in a hotel?
 
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All Things Must Pass

All Things Must Pass

Mage
Apr 14, 2021
557
Maybe make a scheduled email or phone call to cops?
 
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Tkmiz_Tsukumizu

Tkmiz_Tsukumizu

Specialist
Feb 3, 2021
320
I just wanted to say happy earliy birthday... I always love your posts.
 
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D

deadmalk

Member
Nov 25, 2019
51
I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are. It's hard for me to feel any happiness with birthdays as well. I know what you mean when you say you are still here because of your mom. I don't want any family to be the one to find me either. I was the one who heard and found my youngest son and I've been a wreck since.
 
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Pen>Sword

Pen>Sword

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
Jan 13, 2021
465
I'm sorry that you're having a crappy time. I have no advice when it comes to hanging, but I'd like to give you a suggestion. How about enjoying your last birthday? (If it will be your very last). Might as well have the last huzzah while you're at it.
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,356
I have a birthday coming up on the 15th. God....I should have been dead a long time ago, but here it is. Another year older and worse off than I ever have been in my life. So yeah, I feel you. Also not going because of my dad. Yeah, he was horrible to me at times, but still.....can't let him die the way he is trying to. But things are finally starting to feel more real and close up rather than dreamy and distant. And its quite possible that will be the push I need to finally end all these horrible birthdays for good.
 
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SadGirl

SadGirl

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2019
467
I know very well this feeling before birthdays.I hated my last birthdays, spent alone and in the darkest depression. very sad. What if you took a room in a hotel?
I don't have money, and I would be alone, so I prefer to stay at home.
 
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Pookie

Pookie

Somebody you used to know.
Oct 18, 2020
1,051
We are not allowed to give you tips for suicide or encourage suicide. We are pro-choice but that doesn't mean that we WANT people to commit suicide. We'd prefer that the suicidal person get help if possible, although we don't judge those who make the choice to commit suicide. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and that you can't even enjoy your birthday. Nonetheless, I wish you a happy birthday for tomorrow.
 
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Fred Sailor

Fred Sailor

Member
Feb 17, 2021
7
Happy birthday, hope you have a hearty birthday feast!
 
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WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,183
Sorry you're going through this.

Whatever happens, I wish you a happy B-day. Try to have some fun somehow. You know, you could buy a cake you really like or something like that lol.

Hugs and love,

Matt
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,674
I feel the same towards my birthdays now, I dread the thought of getting older. I know how awful it is to feel like this. I wish you well no matter what happens to you as nobody deserves to suffer.
 
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deathgal

Member
May 4, 2021
19
Happy birthday. Maybe do something nice to treat yourself. It doesn't have to cost money
 
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TotallyIsolated

Mage
Nov 25, 2019
590
Only recently had my birthday too, and it wasn't nice.
 
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Thisgirlwantstosleep

Thisgirlwantstosleep

A pointless life had in a pointless world
Mar 11, 2019
130
My birthdays have always been terrible. My last birthday I was being abused by someone online calling me a bitch and all sorts.

Spent the day alone as I have no friends and had to hear my noisy neighbours because my walls are so thin.

Kept thinking about going to a park and hanging myself the whole day.
 
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Bat 17

Bat 17

Bat 17
Mar 30, 2021
307
As has been said, birthdays are usually difficult when we are going through hell.

Hmmm... is there any way the day can be made a bit more cheerful ? Is there anything you like to do, or watch, or something from your childhood or when you were last happy ?

Happy Birthday to you! You are a much valued member of our little community and family, 22 is an auspicious sounding age!
 
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SadGirl

SadGirl

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2019
467
Sorry you're going through this.

Whatever happens, I wish you a happy B-day. Try to have some fun somehow. You know, you could buy a cake you really like or something like that lol.

Hugs and love,

Matt
you are always a loving person ♥️
Sorry you're going through this.

Whatever happens, I wish you a happy B-day. Try to have some fun somehow. You know, you could buy a cake you really like or something like that lol.

Hugs and love,

Matt
you are always a loving person ♥️
I just wanted to say happy earliy birthday... I always love your posts.
Thank you, I'm happy with it, whenever I need it I will be here.
Sorry you're going through this.

Whatever happens, I wish you a happy B-day. Try to have some fun somehow. You know, you could buy a cake you really like or something like that lol.

Hugs and love,

Matt
you are always a loving person ♥️
I just wanted to say happy earliy birthday... I always love your posts.
Thank you, I'm happy with it, whenever I need it I will be here.
I would like to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday, or commented something here in this post. You guys are amazing, know that I'm better now, it's just hard days to go, but I'm fine now. Whenever you want to count on me I will be here, I love you, my friends.
 
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