Muzzled

[Wisdom3_1-9]

There are so many things I want to say, but I can't.

I want to tell the Judas who betrayed me and ruined my life exactly what he's done to me. I want to call him the worst things imaginable. I want to swear and yell at him. I want to ask him why. But I can't.

I want to tell my husband that I regret marrying him, not because I don't love him, but because I dragged him into my shitty life. I want to ask him if he still loves me. I want to ask him if he doesn't want to be with me anymore. But I don't have the courage.

I want to tell my mother about the horrible pain I'm in every day. I want to tell her that I wish I could just give everything up and leave this life. I want to tell her that this world is not for people like me. But it will break her heart.

I want to scream and cry all day long. I want to sob at my desk at work. I want to let everyone know how awful everything is and how I should just be dead. I want to tell everyone to leave me alone, but at the same time ask for their comfort. But I can't let anyone know.

I just have to stay silent.
For as long as I can.

 

[Stick]

Scream here. Scream as loud as you want
I know it's not the same but hopefully the muzzle will be loosened just a little bit

 

[almost_dead]

SCREAM





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[Squiddy]

Let it out. We're here to listen

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I don't think I'm going to be able to do anything until I get to the point where I just don't care about anyone else's feelings. How do I do that? :-(

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't think I'm going to be able to do anything until I get to the point where I just don't care about anyone else's feelings. How do I do that? :-(

You can start by being bullied every day for four days straight. Shall I direct them over to you?

 

[foxdie]

I don't think I'm going to be able to do anything until I get to the point where I just don't care about anyone else's feelings. How do I do that? :-(

I feel somewhat like this, holding all my pain from people in my life. IMO you do care about others because you don't want dump your pain on them (aside from your Judas). Sending love in this painful time