Story Morning after suicide attempt

[19andOverdue]

wasn't a genuine attempt, but I live-streamed cutting myself and putting a gun to my head.. don't know if that counts.

From the outside everything seemed to be umchanged, things are really bad, but not hopeless. However, a girl I liked, my bpd "favorite person" abandoned me and chose my best friend, who's taller and more masculine than me. In an instant all my insecurities became validated and I couldn't bear being in my own skin, so out of anger I tried to work up the nerve to shoot myself by going live on Instagram and cutting all over my body. I ended up not doing it… I'm a coward and everyone knows it now.

 

[happy?1270]

No one who knew you was on there?! Nobody made a 911 call?

 

[FuneralCry]

Not being able to go through with ctb does not mean that you are a coward, suicide is very difficult after all. To me the thought of a gun is terrifying, and I think that if I had access to one I would never be able to ctb that way because of the fear of failure. I'm sorry that you suffer so much. This life is just so unfair and people are so disappointing.

 

[19andOverdue]

Not being able to go through with ctb does not mean that you are a coward, suicide is very difficult after all. To me the thought of a gun is terrifying, and I think that if I had access to one I would never be able to ctb that way because of the fear of failure. I'm sorry that you suffer so much. This life is just so unfair and people are so disappointing.

Thanks, I appreciate your perspective, which is probably held by most people, I need to give myself a break. Also, I assume that we both think a lot about methods lol. I've decided that the quickest way out is the best, because I'll have to run on impulsive adrenaline if I actually want to ctb. I've thought about overdose n such, but I'm more worried of the terror of regret than a quick lights out

No one who knew you was on there?! Nobody made a 911 call?

I had a few people call me afterwards. And I'm still doing damage control through dm's. It's kind of given me a bit of hope, but all those people were old friends from highschool I never see anymore

 

[September5th]

At least you showed the world who truly are. No jokes, it seems to me like a chad moment in a way. You were so off that you didn't even care about what others would think. You went there, picked your smartphone and shouted "yeah, I'm this piece of shit right now, what about?"
I want to do the same someday hahaha

 

[19andOverdue]

At least you showed the world who truly are. No jokes, it seems to me like a chad moment in a way. You were so off that you didn't even cared about what others would think. You went there, picked your smartphone and shouted "yeah, I'm this piece of shit right now, what about?"
I want to do the same someday hahaha

Wow what a homie I think it was more on impulse but I'll take the respect lol