Venting MH system is the worst

[TeaPloom]

I've been on a decent road to recovery and was considering following some lifelong ambitions I've had. But as always, my history makes everyone think I'm an untrustworthy looney whose incapable of changing. It's moments like these where I am filled with nothing but contempt. I legitimately cannot see myself doing anything but following those ambitions. The idea of doing anything that isn't that feel so grotesque and wrong. These things were what motivated to improve. I'm not gonna throw it all away due to this situation I'm in. It just pisses me off that even when I tick all of societies boxes this stupid record will always follow me around. But who is to blame but me? I was idiotic enough to trust psychs when I was younger and fail multiple ctb attempts. It has since earned me the title of someone whose not worth a damn and incapable of anything apparently )) (despite being off meds/therapy for almost 7 years)

Sorry if this is all vague mumbo jumbo. I despise the MH system because they'll pathologize the simplest things and fuck you over forever with inaccurate diagnoses.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would be so frustrated. This life really is so depressing. I can imagine that it must have been awful going through the experience of failed attempts. That is what holds me back from attempting ctb. I wish you the best in whatever happens.