Methods - Thinking outside the box

[Sensei]

I've been very suicidal lately and had doubts about my method. So, I've tried to think outside the box and come up with new methods.

Suicide by slingshot. Pros: cheap. Cons: very low success rate (can be improved with explosives); potentially painful.

Suicide by rolling pin. Pros: cheap. Cons: high risk of losing consciousness before completion; very painful.

Suicide by leek overdose. Pros: cheap; fairly good flavour. Cons: very low success rate; slow and boring; bad breath.

Suicide by leek "other method". Pros: cheap; fairly smooth surface. Cons: very low sucess rate; very painful; humiliating.

Suicide by pillow fight. Pros: cheap; fun; unusual mass suicide method. Cons: extremely low success rate if done alone.

Suicide by shoelace lashing. Pros: cheap; BDSM light. Cons: very low success rate; slow and boring; a bit painful after a while.

Suicide by political debate. Pros: for free. Cons: low success rate; cardiac arrest can be painful; extremely annoying.

Suicide by J-pop concert. Pros: high success rate. Cons: expensive; painful sounds and visuals: slow and agonizing.

Suicide by doing nothing. Pros: extremely high success rate. Cons: very expensive; takes decades; boring.

 

[WornOutLife]

Suicide by doing nothing. Pros: extremely high success rate. Cons: very expensive; takes decades; boring.

lol you've made my day!
I love this one. I'll probably end up using this method.

 

[botanormal]

I like the 'suicide by pillow fight' idea, although I'm too good at that game, I'd probably never die.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Suicide by vending machine. Violently shake the machine to get your bag of chips out until it tips over and kills you.

Pros: Can be made to look like an accident and it's a funny way to die. Cons: It's probably extremely painful and not that practical.

I saw this on the tv show Thousand Ways To Die so apparently it's a real thing.

 

[Symbiote]

Suicide by Dutch Oven. Eat a diet of beans, broccoli, and cheese, let it ferment in your body for a day, go under the covers and let it rip while you're under there. Inhale your farts deeply. Eventually die or fall asleep and wake up smelling like shit.

 

[Endeavour]

Felix Baumgartner - Had a big heavy capsule carried by the helium balloon - no capsule smaller balloon and less helium. You could freeze to death, asphixiate/hypoxia, and fall to your death all at the same time

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Suicide by Dutch Oven. Eat a diet of beans, broccoli, and cheese, let it ferment in your body for a day, go under the covers and let it rip while you're under there. Inhale your farts deeply. Eventually die or fall asleep and wake up smelling like shit.

Someone kind of already beat you to this except it was eat a tub full of beans:

How to kill yourself like a man.

How to kill yourself like a man

www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net

This thread made me remember this web page from so long ago.

 

[_battered_butterfly_]

Suicide by Dutch Oven. Eat a diet of beans, broccoli, and cheese, let it ferment in your body for a day, go under the covers and let it rip while you're under there. Inhale your farts deeply. Eventually die or fall asleep and wake up smelling like shit.

This had me ROTFLMAO

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Suicide by J-pop concert. Pros: high success rate. Cons: expensive; painful sounds and visuals: slow and agonizing.

Suicide by 80's city pop tho?

Suicide by Dutch Oven. Eat a diet of beans, broccoli, and cheese, let it ferment in your body for a day, go under the covers and let it rip while you're under there. Inhale your farts deeply. Eventually die or fall asleep and wake up smelling like shit.

 

[bad luck]

Dress up as a deer in peak hunting season and go into the hunting ground

 

[bad luck]

Go to a neo-Nazi zone and say they are all shitty bald heads, that I am a communist and that I will kill them all. (A friend almost died like that. One of the neo-Nazis recognized him from school when they were little and got it out of there)

 

[Pen>Sword]

This should've been posted on April Fools, which was two days ago.

 

[bad luck]

Get stung by the most poisonous of scorpions. I have read that without medical help in a few minutes you are dead

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

use your toaster as a bath bomb

 

[kukukoko]

suicide by elevator:

 

[lostundead]

Become the political leader of your country and vow to make it independent from the privatly owned central banking system and do state banking with a gold backed currency insead. Now sit back get comfy and wait till you get assassinated.