Venting Mental illness, shitty family - Enraged at my bad luck in life

[ultraviolet]

This just a rant because talking about this with people IRL would have me put on suicide watch.

How do you all deal with the unfairness of life's circumstances? Reading posts on here, it seems like most people have just been dealt a shit hand in life. I can't blame them either.

Myself personally I have had quiet a lot of fucked up life circumstances

- I have ADHD and Autism so I can't focus, have near social isolation
- I'm transgender so I don't really fit in with most people
- I have emotionally abusive / narcissistic parents who gaslight me and refuse to acknowledge my mental illness / trans identity
- I struggle with depression, anxiety and wild mood swings on almost a daily basis

I admit I have made bad choices in the past that have led me to my shitty, broken life, but I feel like most people who were born into such unlucky circumstances would have made the same choices. I have become increasingly bitter towards my parents for having me. I want to blame God, religion or something else. I can't believe almost everything that could have gone wrong in my birth did go wrong.

So how do you all deal with this unfairness?

Scream into the void? Curse God's name? Become bitter and angry like I have?

 

[nixdeath]

I have a somewhat similar situation to you (trans, mentally ill [adhd, depression, schizophrenia], shitty parents), and honestly i dont really deal at all. I just sit on the computer sometimes learning about obscure, useless computer software stuff but mostly browsing twitter and watching youtube. I know my life is sad and I feel horrible knowing im missing out on stuff other people get to do, but I just can't do it, I have too little motivation to do it. I have just about no motivation left.

 

[FuneralCry]

This life certainly is so unfair and many people are disadvantaged right from the start through no fault of their own. That is why life itself is so depressing and awful and why I believe that it is better to never exist in the first place. I guess the only thing that brings me comfort is that all suffering is so temporary and meaningless after all and it will end someday, but even knowing this does not really take away any of the pain of living as I still have to deal with my life.
I'm sorry that you are in such an awful situation, it must be so unbearable what you are going through. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[tration7]

Severe autism is a death sentence.

 

[ultraviolet]

Severe autism is a death sentence.

I agree. I think I have high functioning autism, which is even crueler. I'm aware that I'm not entirely "normal" but there's nothing I can do to change it. Reading facial expressions and body language may as well be a foreign language to me.

I hate the neurodiversity movement that thinks having autism is a "superpower". For everyone genius autistic person out there, there's five awkward, depressed loners like me that are suicidal. Stopping researchers from finding a cure for autism is downright cruel.