Meaningless

[SophieMakesGames]

My aunt was suicidal and so she got told everyone cared for her and are here for her and love her and she has kids and a place here and am other things




When I said I was suicidal I got locked into a psych ward




Do I really matter ***that*** little…

I'm really that meaningless
My death isn't important enough to warrant anyone caring and nothing would change nor anyone would notice if I was gone


None of that was told to me only her


I was just sent away

I'm meaningless and hope I die soon…

I just wish someone would remember me or carry me with them, but it does feel preferable to leave the world entirely forever and have never existed.


Sadly ironicly the harm I've caused lasts but the good is all erased.

 

[katara]

I'm sorry, I get treated the same. No family to go to. Even on here it's quite hard to find help because people don't understand what it's like to be in an actual hopeless situation.

 

[SophieMakesGames]

I'm sorry, I get treated the same. No family to go to. Even on here it's quite hard to find help because people don't understand what it's like to be in an actual hopeless situation.

Yeah…

I'm sorry, I hope you can find someone.

I mostly use here for venting or talking about suicide

Cus everywhere else it's like the worst thing in existence


And even in places it's not demonized everyone says they can't handle it etc and for me to just go to a professional or call a hotline

I've done both and won't go into it but

988 said other people need help and hung up they said I could call back but I didn't and haven't sence it actually made me cry



And then my step mom tried using therapy as leverage over me to get me to do stuff and as such I'm not going not through her I'll get my own therapist and go on my own terms idc if it's impossible if I only have $-900 to pay if I can't get one that means the world doesn't think I deserve it doesn't want me to have one or it's physically impossible for someone to speak to me without money


It's not impossible to people just want it to be like this so that's fine







Anyways I'm sorry you're hopeless.


I hope things get better, or you can find peace soon, I hope I can find peace soon to,

Everyone tells me things get better but everyone who doesn't know I'm suicidal says everything only gets worse so uh yeah… idk…

But I hope things can get better for you, idk your situation.


Sorry for the long ramble.

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel the same. I'd like to talk about my suicidality in the "real life" but it's impossible.
Either people say "fight" or they tell me it will pass and to get treatment. And since people are easily sent to psych ward, I don't say anything.
This forum is the only place I can talk about it.

 

[bankai]

I'm guessing your aunt was much older than you . That might have to do with why she got more sympathy.

Younger people usually don't get the same treatment.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm guessing your aunt was much older than you . That might have to do with why she got more sympathy.

Younger people usually don't get the same treatment.

I think there are probably lots of factors. Age could indeed be one. That a young person is maybe just 'going through a phase'. Not that that should happen. People ought to be taken seriously.

I also think the frequency with which we say we are unhappy has an effect. A bit like the story: 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'. People shouldn't of course, but they gat tired of seeing us in a mood or unhappy. If we've gone so far as to mention or threaten suicide and, we've done it a few times- they may no longer take it seriously. It's maybe more shocking for them when it comes out the blue fron someone they thought was ok.

They should offer love and support thoughout though OP. I'm sorry. Did they ever? Maybe that's something else perhaps. If they were loving and supportive at the very start but it hasn't changed things, they may simply not know what to do. The love and support should of course remain while they try to figure something out though.

Sadly though, I think other emotions can start to hit in- if the situation is longer term: Frustration that things don't seem to be improving. That we can't seem to handle our lives. Even anger that they are having to worry about us- sadly.

It's also easier to be compassionate from a distance I think. Being hugely sympathetic on a phone call is easier than being around a person constantly and showing sympathy.