At a job interview someone told me I would/will be a great judge and that I was way too over-qualified for the job. Yeah I hated job interviews I never could tell the truth. And if I did they gave me absolutely zero chances. I was once in an assessment center and beat a lot of other highly skilled competitioners. Ironically always when I had the chance to finally work I instantly collapsed.
The first therapist I ever had thought I had an amazing future. I can very well remember what he said. I developed a strong binding to him. (But he was absolutely wrong.) I worked so hard that I had got a psychosis. Partly my mania was responsible for that but also the violent abuse which I had to endure as a child/teenager. I have an insane discipline concerning working hard due to that. However this does not mean anything because working makes me manic now as an adult. I did not tell him about the abuse but he did not ask after my psychosis. I felt too ashamed to talk openly to that time.
He was kind of proud about my work ethics. He gave me a wrong diagnosis. A very optimistic one. But the reason behind that is I have something between psychosis and bipolar which is really hard to classify. It does not fit the common diagnoses.
He told me I have a fascinating brain. (I can well remember that. Yeah it is unbelievable fascinating how much a brain can torture an individual. Bruh.)
He told other staff something like in the future he will laugh about this psychotic episode and will forget all the trouble. He said my problems kept fixable and that I will get a gf. (During my psychosis I more or less searched for a gf.) I just had to talk more to women and then they will like me (due to my work ethics and the fact that I don't drink alcohol or do other drugs.)
He clearly made a difference about people who did drugs and people who did not. He thinks people who do drugs throw away their life. Because I am very much anti-drugs he really liked me. He thought the fact that I have never done drugs has saved me. (Nothing could have saved me. Maybe if I ran away from home when I was 5. After that it was too late.)
To be honest it makes me kind of sad that this only was an illusion. I partly believed it for like half a year. However then I had got my second psychosis and told him the truth about my past. Yeah he changed his opinion after I talked openly about my suicidal thoughts...when I was fired from my last job he gave up on me like my (second) (no clinic) therapist. Both concluded I gonna kill myself due to poverty. I think this assessment is way more accurate.
However I remember I sent him an e-mail after my first psychosis (before I talked openly to him.) I told him I am scared that I might be bipolar and wanted to talk about other not important stuff. He told me noone can predict the future but the predictors are in my favor. He said he always had a good feeling concerning my future. (xD damn was he wrong)
The last sentence was something like. But he cannot promise it. Though the fact that the future is not predictable is rather comforting than frightening. (This somewhat contraticts the title of this thread...)
The first therapist I ever had thought I had an amazing future. I can very well remember what he said. I developed a strong binding to him. (But he was absolutely wrong.) I worked so hard that I had got a psychosis. Partly my mania was responsible for that but also the violent abuse which I had to endure as a child/teenager. I have an insane discipline concerning working hard due to that. However this does not mean anything because working makes me manic now as an adult. I did not tell him about the abuse but he did not ask after my psychosis. I felt too ashamed to talk openly to that time.
He was kind of proud about my work ethics. He gave me a wrong diagnosis. A very optimistic one. But the reason behind that is I have something between psychosis and bipolar which is really hard to classify. It does not fit the common diagnoses.
He told me I have a fascinating brain. (I can well remember that. Yeah it is unbelievable fascinating how much a brain can torture an individual. Bruh.)
He told other staff something like in the future he will laugh about this psychotic episode and will forget all the trouble. He said my problems kept fixable and that I will get a gf. (During my psychosis I more or less searched for a gf.) I just had to talk more to women and then they will like me (due to my work ethics and the fact that I don't drink alcohol or do other drugs.)
He clearly made a difference about people who did drugs and people who did not. He thinks people who do drugs throw away their life. Because I am very much anti-drugs he really liked me. He thought the fact that I have never done drugs has saved me. (Nothing could have saved me. Maybe if I ran away from home when I was 5. After that it was too late.)
To be honest it makes me kind of sad that this only was an illusion. I partly believed it for like half a year. However then I had got my second psychosis and told him the truth about my past. Yeah he changed his opinion after I talked openly about my suicidal thoughts...when I was fired from my last job he gave up on me like my (second) (no clinic) therapist. Both concluded I gonna kill myself due to poverty. I think this assessment is way more accurate.
However I remember I sent him an e-mail after my first psychosis (before I talked openly to him.) I told him I am scared that I might be bipolar and wanted to talk about other not important stuff. He told me noone can predict the future but the predictors are in my favor. He said he always had a good feeling concerning my future. (xD damn was he wrong)
The last sentence was something like. But he cannot promise it. Though the fact that the future is not predictable is rather comforting than frightening. (This somewhat contraticts the title of this thread...)
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