Making wrong choices

[floofhook]

At every major intersection in my life I seem to have made the wrong choices. I'm constantly wishing that I chose different or that time would turn back. It's the major reason why I want to die.
Today I made a decision that I was
pressured into and I regretted it as soon as I made it.
I hate living ffs

 

[stygal]

I think you reflecting on your actions in this post shows that you're learning and evolving from your past into your present.

I definitely have been stupid, wreckless and impulsive in the past and that led to wrong decision making.

The past is the past though ...if I wasn't physically close to my end I'd look at every available angle on how to improve or change my life in a different direction.
It's hard and painful but the only option one has left.

 

[DocNo]

i also struggle with that.
parts of me tried to compensate it when it played some games over and over again reloaded till i had the "perfect" game with all decision made right. sometimes i wished i could make this also with my life.

what was crazy that sometimes when i didn't do that and just went with the flow of the game it sometimes was better than in this so called "perfect" games. and another thing which was very strong that it definitely felt better. like seeing that is not running good, trying to adapt. it has more a feeling of going into unexplored territory.
but i guess in real life this feeling of going into the future like into unexplored territory and see it as an adventure is very much clouded by my anxiety and other issues. so i guess many decisions were just bad cause they were clouded by my fears.

i guess i am lacking of acceptance for myself and how my life is now.
as stupid i find this approach "this is the first day of my life" as interesting i also find it cause in many things of your life you really can start over every day. with growing older it becomes of course a bit more difficult and some really bad decisions have for sure an impact that this approach doesn't work everywhere. but in some point i guess it's also a phrase about mindset. to try to let things you regret behind you and try to go forward without ballast.

but i know. it's so much easier said than done. i mostly still feel imprisoned by my anxiety and other things that this way to make it a bit easier for myself didn't work very often.