Making plans for the future to hide ctb

[Idontmatter]

Does anyone else find themselves making plans for the future to hide wanting to ctb. I'm making plans with my husband for our future and am feeling guilty for it since I'm still planning to ctb. He just can't know or I'll be back in a mental health facility. I have a 2lb container of sn stored away just waiting for the day. He really cares about me but I can't handle this life anymore. The guilt I feel about making future plans is killing me.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Opposite. I find myself not making plans weeks or months in advance because I don't want to feel obligated to stick around in case my time comes before then.

 

[Shu]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It must be really hard for you. Especially bearing that guilt. I hope that things change for you and improve so you can rethink your decision. Wish you well in whatever choice you make.


@Judy_Garland "2lb container" see tons of people have ordered from DD. They are about to restrict purchases I believe.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is understandable making future plans as we live in a world where our right to die is not respected and suicide is so stigmatised. I always see it as best to keep my thoughts about wanting to ctb to myself as others would not accept and understand. The thought of being stuck in a psych ward sounds so awful to me. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much and I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Negrathecat]

I get where you are coming from, I've been with my partner for two years and I've been planning to ctb without them knowing. They know about my first attempt and have told me that if I try again they are just going to leave me which I shouldn't be upset about but I just don't want them to leave me. I feel like that makes me ignorant.

 

[Idontmatter]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It must be really hard for you. Especially bearing that guilt. I hope that things change for you and improve so you can rethink your decision. Wish you well in whatever choice you make.


@Judy_Garland "2lb container" see tons of people have ordered from DD. They are about to restrict purchases I believe.

The 2lb container says 99% pure so hopefully it works. It's food grade but from my understanding it's the purity that counts. I could be wrong on that though. I'm glad I got mine if they are going to restrict orders possibly.

 

[Message In A Bottle]

Understandable, I do the same with my folks. I'll pretend I have plans, mom thinks I'm just gonna "leave her" as in move away. Little does she know my actual plans.

 

[Idontmatter]

It's funny, I keep thinking if I knew about the sn method 20 years ago In my 20s when I was single I would have done it then and wouldn't even be here right now.