Making My Death Easier for Family/Friends

[RememberingSunday]

How can I make my death easier on my family and friends? My BPD causes me to sabotage lots of my relationships anyway, so I've had some friendships recently where I just wanted them to hate me so much that they'd be happy with me dying, and that seems to have worked well with a few.
But I have a few other close friends and a best friend, and some family members, including my parents, who I want to make my death as painless as possible for, and I was looking for advice on that.
I'm extremely unhappy being alive and I'm in such constant emotional pain and turmoil that suicide is my only option, but I want my death to be easy for my loved ones.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it is really difficult to make your death easier for those left behind, no matter what they would be upset. I think that all someone can do is to write a note to give them some closure and will mean that they are not left with unanswered questions. A note can also act as an explanation. Maybe it might make the impact of a death a bit easier on those left behind if they knew how much the person suffered in life. I would personally tell others in a note that there is nothing that could have been done to prevent this.

 

[DreamSurfer]

Wow, I am going through the EXACT situation, aswell as BPD sabotage. Aside from you doing something so horrible to bring on hate, (which you should NOT do) people are going to still be hurt. Even those that you may have somehow pushed out of your life. May still feel some pain. Bonds of deep love and care don't seem to be easily just sat aside by those that care. But if they are given the knowledge on how much you were suffering, and tell them that they could not have helped in any way, it may ease some of the sting.

Ultimately it seems to come down to, can you find some ways to improve your life enough through various options, vs accept that you'll leave a wake of people hurting but finally find some peace.

This is a hard thing to contest within some people. People tell me it's selfish. I counter with the fact that it is also selfish to keep someone on this earth that is suffering so much in order for them to not go through pain. I had this VERY convo last night. Tough decision OP

 

[cantwaittoleave]

I'm in the same situation. I think the best option would be what FuneralCry said, just let them know in a note it wasn't preventable on their end and especially mention it's not their fault. Unless it is... who knows. Only you do. But if it's not, then mention that is my advice. And do it in a way that doesn't leave an ugly, traumatizing mess perhaps (though I think you know that).

 

[Underneath]

Unfortunately I can't comment on the BPD side of things (I don't have it), however I strongly believe it's impossible to make this 'easier' for them.

My best advice is to write personalised notes to the people you do care for. While a general note can be very powerful, writing several to specific people only can (in my mind) show you have/had a strong personal connection with them.

I think it is important to emphasise their importance in your life, as well as how they are not to blame for your desire/need to ctb.

Hope this helps you.
~U