Making amends

[Throwmyselfaway]

I'm actually in aa. So making amends is not a strange thing to me. The other day before i even join I text an ex to apologize for some mean stuff I said to him. He did do something to piss me off but I didn't have to be extremely nasty to him. I don't know if he read it or not but I had to apologize. I'm working on an apology amends to another person now that was roundabout my fault. I'm not trying to make a clean slate I just feel like I owe them this before I ctb. Anyone else feel this way?

 

[TheEndof]

I've thought about just contacting folks I know I've hurt, but I also wonder if contacting them just causes them more distress. I don't want to do it for my own conscience or peace of mind. I'll be thinking about it in my final days for sure. I have to decide if apologizing will really benefit them and myself or just open up healed wounds.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I'm actually in aa. So making amends is not a strange thing to me. The other day before i even join I text an ex to apologize for some mean stuff I said to him. He did do something to piss me off but I didn't have to be extremely nasty to him. I don't know if he read it or not but I had to apologize. I'm working on an apology amends to another person now that was roundabout my fault. I'm not trying to make a clean slate I just feel like I owe them this before I ctb. Anyone else feel this way?

There are people who I have hurt that when I made my amends (I tried aa), I wrote them a letter, and read it out loud to my sponsor, then I burned the letters because I had no way to contact the person, or contacting them would have angered/hurt them more. My sponsor said that the aa amends process is about spiritual cleansing and that is the important part. It is a symbolic "clean slate", and allows people to move forward.
I hope that this helps.
Welcome to the site, and I am sorry that life and addiction has been so painful for you.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

There are people who I have hurt that when I made my amends (I tried aa), I wrote them a letter, and read it out loud to my sponsor, then I burned the letters because I had no way to contact the person, or contacting them would have angered/hurt them more. My sponsor said that the aa amends process is about spiritual cleansing and that is the important part. It is a symbolic "clean slate", and allows people to move forward.
I hope that this helps.
Welcome to the site, and I am sorry that life and addiction has been so painful for you.

I never thought of writing it, then reading out loud and burning them. That's actually a great idea. Thank you so much :)

 

[TAW122]

That's good to consider that for others, and personally, I have thought about making amends and I may do so before I leave this world (when my time comes), because I know that I may have had some quarrels and beef with people in the past, and at the least, I would make things a bit 'better' for them (or attempt to). Another thing is that due to my passing, it would likely be difficult for many people, so the least I can do is to make some amends and explain a bit, then wish them well.