Venting make it stop.

[livingdeaddyke]

please make it stop. whatever it is, let it go away completely. I would do anything to be and feel truly happy, even if it was for a day, or a minute.

I truly believe I was never meant to live for this long at all, there's way too many tragedies, trauma, and depression and I'm supposed to just go on with my life like that's somehow normal, it's fine, like none of it had deeply hurt me, like I'm not ruined.

I suffer every day. I wake up every day wishing I could leave my life forever. I left no mark on it. I mean nothing to anyone. My talents mean nothing when someone is better than me at it. All I see are mistakes. How do people even see a future in me, a future I cannot even see?

I will never be perfect, or at least the "perfection" I wanted to be. Nothing will ever be good enough for me. why be good, when I could be better. why can't I be better? what am I doing wrong? what am I missing? why isn't "perfect" perfect for me. Why can't I be just like you? Why can't I be perfect or at least good like you, have so many friends like you, be loved like you, be remembered like you?

I cannot live like this anymore. I tried, I really did, but it's too much on me now, I can't do this anymore.

 

[tomatriste]

i'm so sorry you feel this way. i can relate

 

[peacefulsleepnow]

So sorry for this pain you are in. Sending you support.