Discussion M 60's lost, isolated, worried and afraid. Considering CTB. Can anyone a bit older relate ?

[no mas]

As for myself, It's been a very long and lonely cold road for too many years. I've been all alone since my girl became disabled (wheel chair/bed bound), and passed away after covid got her a few years back. Since then nobody ever calls me except (solicitors/bills), nobody cares. I have a very small family (yet not one of the 3 ever consuders me) Im stuck mentally, emotionally, and financially. I do not have a heath insurance safety net. Just more bills and little to no income. I feel doomed. My sleep is just awful, very erratic, and nearly impossible for more than a hour at a time. I might get 2-3 hours in total per day. Additionally I also serious vision problems progressively removing my eyesight and fear not being able to handle basic tasks. There's so much more to my story but all that doesn't matter, but what does is what now is today. So Im just trying to get a grip on life and find the hope and desire to live, be motivated and have the strength to move ahead and not be consumed by the society default mechanisms (they do not work). Otherwise, I need to CTB rather soon. Sorry if I've rambled on here too long. But If you can relate and want to chat a bit then hit me up here or DM. ~Cheers

 

[doomedbynarrative]

I'm half your age so I don't know if I have any advice to give that would apply but have some virtual hugs from me

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

As for myself, It's been a very long and lonely cold road for too many years. I've been all alone since my girl became disabled (wheel chair/bed bound), and passed away after covid got her a few years back. Since then nobody ever calls me except (solicitors/bills), nobody cares. I have a very small family (yet not one of the 3 ever consuders me) Im stuck mentally, emotionally, and financially. I do not have a heath insurance safety net. Just more bills and little to no income. I feel doomed. My sleep is just awful, very erratic, and nearly impossible for more than a hour at a time. I might get 2-3 hours in total per day. Additionally I also serious vision problems progressively removing my eyesight and fear not being able to handle basic tasks. There's so much more to my story but all that doesn't matter, but what does is what now is today. So Im just trying to get a grip on life and find the hope and desire to live, be motivated and have the strength to move ahead and not be consumed by the society default mechanisms (they do not work). Otherwise, I need to CTB rather soon. Sorry if I've rambled on here too long. But If you can relate and want to chat a bit then hit me up here or DM. ~Cheers

Hey my man. I'm a 60 year old male in the USA. I don't have any health issues.... Just depression and anxiety. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and the obvious pain that you are forced to endure.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

So Im just trying to get a grip on life and find the hope and desire to live, be motivated and have the strength to move ahead and not be consumed by the society default mechanisms (they do not work). Otherwise, I need to CTB rather soon. Sorry if I've rambled on here too long. But If you can relate and want to chat a bit then hit me up here or DM. ~Cheers

As someone who is 60 years old, I've noticed that advancing age has two aspects – the negative is that everything intensifies: mental fatigue from so many years lived, illnesses that suddenly appear, work can become unbearable, and depending on the case, loneliness can be terrible. I only see one positive aspect: I'm closer to the end. I hope you find the peace you seek.

 

[no mas]

Hey my man. I'm a 60 year old male in the USA. I don't have any health issues.... Just depression and anxiety. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and the obvious pain that you are forced to endure.

Appreciate your acknowlegement. I hope you can find a way to move through/around those debilitating conditions. It seems the longer they linger. the worse they get. Young people have alot to deal with growing up in this era. I read what they say and often cringe knowing their severity. Yet those 30+ years younger cannot possibly relate to how similar matters affect people our age. ~Blessings

I'm half your age so I don't know if I have any advice to give that would apply but have some virtual hugs from me

I appreciate your acknowledgement, and I double those back atcha

 

[pax420]

I started writing a little history about myself and was going to close with I'm 57 got a lot I common with you Im not worth much anymore but I can listen and talk. I looked down and seen I was at 609 words and decided to erase that and write this instead. I you want to talk hit me up. I still haven't figured out the dm im crap .

 

[no mas]

Sure, that would be nice. I have no clue on how to initiate a DM, just asked the search function and it did not yield the results. Anyhow, Im in Forida USa, where are you from?

 

[madwoman]

Sending love. I am in my late 30s but my dad didn't make it to his 60s (died from cancer) so just wanted to say I'm sorry for your pain. For dming, try clicking on the persons username you want to send a message to and choose "start a conversation" that should work :) pax might not have that feature yet being newer account on here so it takes a bit to get all the features just fyi.

 

[itsgone2]

I feel doomed. My sleep is just awful, very erratic, and nearly impossible for more than a hour at a time. I might get 2-3 hours in total per day.

Early 50s here but I can relate to this. Pretty much all of it actually just not quite the same stage. Hopefully I never see it. Sorry things turned out the way they did for you.

 

[pax420]

Sending love. I am in my late 30s but my dad didn't make it to his 60s (died from cancer) so just wanted to say I'm sorry for your pain. For dming, try clicking on the persons username you want to send a message to and choose "start a conversation" that should work :) pax might not have that feature yet being newer account on here so it takes a bit to get all the features just fyi.

Thank you we ended up figuring it out

 

[DeathWish3301]

@no mas

Just wanted to let you know there is also a megathread for folks age fifty and over, in case you're interested.

+50 Peer Support Thread

This is meant as a support thread, for those users who are 50+ years old. Rules of the general forum applies.

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[no mas]

Appreciate you letting me know. Thank you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm 60. All alone, too. Family is all deceased. I never married and have no children. No friends, either, but that's a longer story. Only humans I ever talk to are store clerks, gas station attendants, bank tellers, etc, and it's just obligatory small talk. I usually only leave the house once a week for errands, and I try to do them all at once because I don't even like going anywhere anymore. It's just all a chore. I don't even talk to my neighbors. I don't get any calls, or texts, from anyone, except my doctor's office every so often. No major health issues, yet (knock wood), and I don't want to linger around long enough for any to develop. I should have been gone already, but, as it stands now, I plan on being gone within the next 2 years, hopefully much sooner. I have a couple important things left I must do, like super important, to, hopefully, get affairs in order, and I still need to figure a couple other things out, as far as working out the details on how I can be found, things like that, logistics type stuff. It's darn hard to even think about "living", let alone dying, when you're entirely alone. Everything is just so much harder being alone, and depression makes it even harder. It's just day by day, hour by hour, sometimes, even.

So, I think I can relate somewhat to your situation.

 

[no mas]

I'm 60. All alone, too. Family is all deceased. I never married and have no children. No friends, either, but that's a longer story. Only humans I ever talk to are store clerks, gas station attendants, bank tellers, etc, and it's just obligatory small talk. I usually only leave the house once a week for errands, and I try to do them all at once because I don't even like going anywhere anymore. It's just all a chore. I don't even talk to my neighbors. I don't get any calls, or texts, from anyone, except my doctor's office every so often. No major health issues, yet (knock wood), and I don't want to linger around long enough for any to develop. I should have been gone already, but, as it stands now, I plan on being gone within the next 2 years, hopefully much sooner. I have a couple important things left I must do, like super important, to, hopefully, get affairs in order, and I still need to figure a couple other things out, as far as working out the details on how I can be found, things like that, logistics type stuff. It's darn hard to even think about "living", let alone dying, when you're entirely alone. Everything is just so much harder being alone, and depression makes it even harder. It's just day by day, hour by hour, sometimes, even.

So, I think I can relate somewhat to your situation.

Yes we relate. I too barely go out, particularly these last 4-5 years. However I live with lots of regrets. Ive wasted so many of my good years. That is the worst feeling. Those once good memories are now so overwhelmed by nightmares that upset and depresses me so I hardly function nor get any sleep. I use to believe in Miracles, and may still have an inkling they still exist. Yet somehow I feel cursed. However we both desperately in need one or we maybe done soon.
Hopefully youll feel better and thanks for responding

 

[metfan647]

Late thirties here and nothing but admiration for those soldiering on with MH issues at 60 and beyond. I'd like to say I won't be you and reach that age, but I've always been this way and I never even expected to reach 30.

 

[gottacheckout]

I'm another one that is on the wrong side of 60. I have also become a hermit. I still do some activities but they are done when I won't see many people.

 

[no mas]

Its just so hard to go out there, the fact you do some is great, kudos to you my bro

 

[gottacheckout]

Its just so hard to go out there, the fact you do some is great, kudos to you my bro

Thanks. It really can be tough to get out sometimes but I'm afraid that if I stop going on adventures I won't have anything else to do except to ctb.

There is one area I've always wanted to see but it seems to escape the season. You can get further from a paved road there in the continental 48 states. The night scape is supposed to be amazing.

 

[no mas]

Yes, Keep thst Adventure spirit alive..Where is the area you still want to see? Where are you from?

 

[gottacheckout]

The area is called the Owyhee Canyonlands. It is comprised of se Oregon, sw Idaho, and n Nevada.

 

[no mas]

Oh, that sounds really neat, Ive never heard of it before. Should be a fun and interesting, adventure. When are you going?

 

[Ligottian]

I'm 65. Can relate to many of these posts. The window has pretty much closed on how I wanted my life to turn out.

 

[no mas]

Sending love. I am in my late 30s but my dad didn't make it to his 60s (died from cancer) so just wanted to say I'm sorry for your pain. For dming, try clicking on the persons username you want to send a message to and choose "start a conversation" that should work :) pax might not have that feature yet being newer account on here so it takes a bit to get all the

Sending love. Thanks for letting me know, it was the first time for both of us. So sorry about lose of your Dad. Nothing can make up for the loss. Cancer also took my Mother at 59. It was very horrible, she basically evaporated into a skeleton then came a uncommunicative vegetative state. No one should experience that. Hopefully your Dads passing went as painlessly and quickly as possible. If you were close then surely his love and spirit is instilled in you forever, may he rest in peace. On a brighter note, hope you enjoyed the weekend and tomorrow is brighter than today. ~Cheers, Steve

 

[madwoman]

Sending love. Thanks for letting me know, it was the first time for both of us. So sorry about lose of your Dad. Nothing can make up for the loss. Cancer also took my Mother at 59. It was very horrible, she basically evaporated into a skeleton then came an uncommunicative vegetative state. No one should experience that. Hopefully your Dads passing went as painlessly and quickly as possible. If you were close then surely his love and spirit is instilled in you forever, may he rest in peace. On a brighter note, hope you enjoyed the weekend and tomorrow is brighter than today. ~Cheers, Steve

Thank you, that was very sweet. I'm sorry about your mom too and it's horrible to watch someone pass from cancer or other related Illness like that :/ it was hard watching him go bc it spread to his brain but maybe he wasn't fully aware near the end, he couldn't communicate much but he's at peace now & I hold onto a lot of good memories with him. Hope there's some good moments for you amongst the pain you are in. Take care

 

[gottacheckout]

Oh, that sounds really neat, Ive never heard of it before. Should be a fun and interesting, adventure. When are you going?

Probably early summer, I have to wait for it to dry. It is notorious for trapping people in some really sticky mud. I've heard of people stuck for a week.

 

[no mas]

Oh wow, that's a really good reason to wait. When you do go, I'd like hearing about your adventure.

 

[Crematoryy]

As for myself, It's been a very long and lonely cold road for too many years. I've been all alone since my girl became disabled (wheel chair/bed bound), and passed away after covid got her a few years back. Since then nobody ever calls me except (solicitors/bills), nobody cares. I have a very small family (yet not one of the 3 ever consuders me) Im stuck mentally, emotionally, and financially. I do not have a heath insurance safety net. Just more bills and little to no income. I feel doomed. My sleep is just awful, very erratic, and nearly impossible for more than a hour at a time. I might get 2-3 hours in total per day. Additionally I also serious vision problems progressively removing my eyesight and fear not being able to handle basic tasks. There's so much more to my story but all that doesn't matter, but what does is what now is today. So Im just trying to get a grip on life and find the hope and desire to live, be motivated and have the strength to move ahead and not be consumed by the society default mechanisms (they do not work). Otherwise, I need to CTB rather soon. Sorry if I've rambled on here too long. But If you can relate and want to chat a bit then hit me up here or DM. ~Cheers

Except for the physiological problems, in the social and psychological spheres I am identical, but at 23 years old.