Love life but have to die

[Skullomania]

I have been thinking about obsessive suicide for at least 2 years now. I have also tried to die from dehydration and hanged for the past year. What I realized is that I don't want to die, I HAVE to die.
I love life, not mine of course; it is exhausting not to take part in this game, not to be part of anything, to be constantly alone and unable to be who you want to be. Symptoms of depression and anxiety are very often terrible, my condition is unlivable.
My survival instinct sometimes suggests that I try to get back up again, but it's useless, it's too late.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is sad how life drives people to this point. I'm sorry that it has come to this for you, it is all just so unfair. I know that it is hard to carry on when you suffer so much. I hope that you find freedom from your struggle.

 

[Hope:-)]

I really do understand xx

 

[Lost Magic]

I feel similar. It feels like limbo.

 

[gcso]

I feel that way too. I love technology, books and some nature landscapes. It is a pity that I will have to die soon. I, unfortunately, was unlucky enough to be born into a horrible family, but I know I don't belong here, even though I love it all. I hope some ignorant love it more than I do when I'm gone.

 

[MountainMonkey]

I complete understand. I love nature, the outdoors, mountain climbing, and living off grid. I can't exist in society, around humans, inside man made structures with concrete and pavement. I get horrible anxiety and rage. Now I'm forced out of my natural element and thrown into the sick, deluded, man made matrix and this is the reason I have to die.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't hate everything in this world, either. I'd rather not have to go. But, my situation warrants it. CTB is actually the best of only bad choices. I could wish things were different, but we all know where wishing get us, don't we?