• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

MatthewV3

MatthewV3

Student
Dec 15, 2021
107
Back in 2014 I had a surgery to remove my gallbladder. I was 15 then. I remember lying on the surgery table. I was scared, but excited too. I was thinking "How is it gonna be to loose consciousness?What if I'll wake up during the surgery?" The nurse injected me anesthetic substances and she said "the patient is ready for surgery, call the doctor". I was like "What? I'm not ready yet, I'm still conscious!" Then I decided that I will try to stay conscious as long as possible, I'll be fighting not to loose it, so maybe they'll have to give me additional dose or something. I was lying like that with my fists clenched and then...boom. I woke up at recovery room. I don't know how long did the surgery take but I didn't feel anything. I didn't exist for all that time, it was the most beautiful time in my life.

When I think of CTB, I wish it could be that peacefull and painless. If only I knew what kind of substances they use for anesthesia. Maybe it's fentanyl or I don't know.
 
  • Like
Reactions: VoidDesirer22, archipelago, jusbug and 6 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,451
I have always wanted to be under anesthesia. It sounds so nice to not exist at all for a bit. We all deserve the option of a peaceful way to exit, no one should have to resort to risky and painful methods to end their suffering. All that I want is to peacefully pass away.
 
  • Like
Reactions: archipelago and Talvikki
A

archipelago

Student
Jun 27, 2021
148
Also the pain meds they give you after make everything hilarious after you wake up
 

Similar threads

hedezev4
Replies
8
Views
785
Suicide Discussion
swankysoup
swankysoup
K
Replies
44
Views
4K
Suicide Discussion
Bubuu
B
H
Replies
1
Views
291
Suicide Discussion
EmptyBottle
EmptyBottle
leloyon
Replies
23
Views
832
Offtopic
leloyon
leloyon